Monday, December 31, 2007

Bye 2007, Hello 2008

15 minutes left of 2007. Warrants a quick recap of what has happened this year:
  • I celebrated my first CNY in KL and cooked my first full-fledged reunion dinner
  • I finished serving my scholarship bond - FINALLY
  • I began a new blog to share updates and news with close family - which, to my own amazement, is still very much alive
  • I made a whole bunch of new friends in my new workplace
  • Gramps' health is deteriorating - very heartbreaking
  • Great grandma passed away at the ripe old age of 101
  • Bro proposed!
  • I got in touch with a whole load of friends whom I've not seen/ heard from since my school days - thanks to Facebook
  • I met-up with an online friend, face-to-face
  • I finally got around to applying for my ACCA membership, despite having passed the exams 3 years back!!
  • I moved to the middle east to join hubby

What I hope to achieve in 2008:

  • Learn basic arabic
  • Familarise self with islamic finance and the tax regime in the mid east
  • Work towards a promotion at work
  • Strike a balanced work/ life perspective - leave the office before 7pm max and not to work weekends
  • Eat healthier - stick to fibre and greens regime, rule out sugary drinks, cut down the burgers, fastfood and fatty pork
  • Lose weight - 10kg? maybe more realistic if I can even achieve 5kg!!
  • Use moisturiser/ body lotion for dry skin and face
  • Visit 2 to 3 places I've never been to before
  • Make a conscious effort to plan and get pregnant
  • Build up my close-to-nil savings

Happy New Year to self!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Fear

A Pollyanna moment to self:

Being scared is good. Being scared means you have something to lose. - quote from Grey's Anatomy

My choice

My 4th week in a foreign land is just beginning. And as always, homesickness hits hard when:
a) You are idle
b) You are alone
c) There is something going on at home and everyone is back reuniting and reminiscing
d) Someone you love is ill

In my case, it is all the above.

I envy the happy faces I see on Facebook. Faces familar in my secondary school days. Happy and smiling. Catching up. I wish I were there too. To join in the fun.

At the moment, I feel lonely and cast aside. It is no fault of theirs coz if I were in Penang, the invitation to hang out would definitely be extended (then ungrateful me would complain about how these invites would be eating into my family time!). But I am miles and miles away when everyone is back home.

I need to remind myself:

You are already a lucky girl. Having spent so much time back in Malaysia with family in the last 7 years upon graduation. Perhaps the scholarship bond was a blessing in disguise, it delayed the decision to uproot to a foreign land immediately after 3 years abroad studying. It gave you time to be close to family, to enjoy their warmth and love and to realise how much you love them back too.

Those happy faces you see in facebook - they have been away from family since Form 5. Away studying, away working. They hardly come home. So who are you to be envious of them when they happen to come home at the same time to meet up with friends and family!?? Something which has been at your fingertips for the last 7 years.

Remember, you being in a foreign land is your choice. You have made the choice. There can be no regrets. No lapses of remorse. Nada. The choice has been made.


It is MY CHOICE. Now live with it.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Bad news

Despite the tropical heat, Gramps is feeling cold - 3 layers of clothes, one blanket and a heater on, with no fan and shut windows, and yet...he still says he feels cold. This has been going on for the last fortnight or so. His health has deteriorated a little more since the last family reunion end of Nov.

We finally found out why sometime last week. Apparently, it is heart and renal failure. Only 20% of his kidneys are functioning. No wonder, recently his legs are getting swollen.

Uncle K knew all along but chose to remain mum. Probably coz he didn't want to stress and worry all of us too. There is nothing much more which can be done. No amount of medication will help. This is nature's way of shutting down your body.

Truth be told, we don't know how much longer Gramps has. I choose to believe that with a strong will to live and if surrounded by love, family and care...the odds will definitely be better. I wish I were back home. But even if I were, there really is nothing I can do about it.

Sad, helpless - but such is the reality of life unfortunately.