Wednesday, May 02, 2007


After 5 days of bliss, the telephone call back home this afternoon to inform gramps that I had safely landed in KL brought me crashing back to reality. He sounded breathless, frail and gasped for air. And this despite only trying to talk to me on the phone. I was shocked. I knew about his condition but the last time I was back home about 2-3 weeks back, he seemed to have improved. Heck, he sounded ok when I called him last Tuesday to let him know I was leaving Malaysia for the long weekend.

Was on MSN with bro later this evening and he concurred that gramps' condition had deteriorated very much the past week. So much so that even my cool cucumber bro was scared. Poor boy has been home alone as my parents have left for their holidays in Europe beginning last week. He has been stressed and unsure of what to do. Frustrated even.
dunno ler, it's sometimes just so scary when you look at ah gong, and there's nothing you can do...not even when a qualified doctor doesn't want to be here

Heck, if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't know what to do either!

Tomorrow, gramps is due for another check-up. Uncle K will accompany him. Bro is thinking of taking annual leave or requesting to work from home on Friday. By virtue that he is even nursing such thoughts indicate how brittle things are at home.

I'm definitely flying back this weekend. Again, don't know what I can do (maybe cook some meals rather than bro ta-pauing stuff home after work) - perhaps just to keep gramps company. At the very least relieve bro a little after his stressful week of coping alone.

We've both decided that there is no point alerting mum at this stage. She's due to return home next Monday anyway. There is nothing much which she can do so we'll let it be.

In the meantime, fingers crossed that the doctor's check-up tomorrow is positive and that he can identify means as to how my gramps can get better.

Sigh. Its heartbreaking.


I have been blogging - just not on this blog. The maiden entry in my new blog was posted at the end of Feb 2007, just as I left my old job and closed another chapter of my life. Sole reason for the new blog was to keep close family members up-to-date on the happenings in my life, particularly since so many uncertainties beckon. And because the new blog is privy to close family members, I have to watch both content and language. Gone are the days when I could just spew my emotions and thoughts all over, as and when I like, without worrying about upsetting people I care. Except for, perhaps, this hidden goobledydook pigeon hole safety den of mine here which they don't know about and/ or have forgotten/ dismissed as dead.

So guess broadly categorised - the new blog shall be full of cheer, happiness and postive vibes to share, whereas this one shall remain the darker, gloomier, potentially bitchier dumpsite of rants which should not see the day of light (or at least remain unknown by family).

What to do - I am a Gemini afterall. So two contrasting sides of me are to be expected, naturally.