Guilt
My boss is sharing her worries and revenue targets with me. I am fully aware that she will be relying on me to pull my weight and deliver quite a fair bit as the rest of the team is even newer than me and definitely, much less experienced.Despite knowing that I am 90% certain of leaving my current job, I merely nod and play along, giving away no sign of my tentative plans. No, not now. Not when there is still a slim 10% chance that I may be staying!
I sound selfish. But it may also be denial. Personally, I have to come to terms that this is something which I need to do. My CV is already in circulation. Hubby has high hopes that I'll obtain a decent paying job (I'd told him that there was no way I was settling for less to relocate) soon enough for me to perhaps take off with him this coming September or October.
Nevertheless, I still slave hard at work, absorbing as much knowledge as I can - nevermind how irrelevant this may be to me in a few months down the road.
Am unsure if the required 30-day notice I need to serve will be sufficient to cushion the shock of me stepping away from a job which I seem (and am reasonably) happy about. But hey, at least I am trying my best to help her build up a team. Have hinted to her a couple of times that she needs to start hiring more experienced staff soon, only to be told, "Well, it isn't so easy to find good experienced staff nowadays."
Oh well, if you don't try you won't know! Don't say you haven't been warned.
munsta ramblings @ 11:08 pm
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