munsta ramblings

Square 1

2008-03-16T02:58:00.001+08:00

DAY 1 again. The last cycle took 28 days. *Sigh* This is getting tedious.

Pleasant surprise

2008-02-21T04:14:00.003+08:00

Just when I spent the night before tossing and turning, bothered by your apparent lack of common sense of which I've lamented and ranted endlessly on loop in my head , you surprise me the next morning by not only addressing the issue head on but reassuring me that you aren't generally as silly as you sound. Naive as it may be, I still trust you and that short msn exchange really cheered me up quite a bit.

It cannot be just coincidence. Neither do I think you're blessed with telepathic powers. I tend to favour suspicions that you still secretly stalk this grubby blog of mine or you have a very efficient little bird who does so on your behalf and twitters updates in your ear!

Frus!!

2008-02-19T04:32:00.002+08:00

It is difficult when you are all alone, with no one to confide in. Not that loved ones are not near, but I know that there is no use in voicing out my concerns. They will be heard alright, but like a broken record, will also grate on nerves and cause tempers to flare. What is the point then?

So try as I might, I let the issues gnaw away myself. I feel flustered and troubled. Unable to sleep. And yet have nowhere to turn to. No one to draw strength from. No one to soothe and emphatise with me.

As much as I hate to say this, disputes in respect of money matters do hurt a relationship. It isn't like I've known hubby very recently. In fact, even before saying "I do", I was already well aware of his spending habits. Without his knowledge, I've defended him numerous times against my parents' criticism. I've also constantly reassured myself that he is a responsible spender who knows what he is doing and that he has learnt from his past errors.

But honestly, I am really not so sure. Time after time, it happens again. And again. And again. Old habits die hard. And each time it recurs, I find it increasingly difficult to convince myself that it will not happen again. Deeply disappointed each time, I no longer try to mask my emotions anymore as I try to distant myself further and further away from the money draining decision.

I am a relatively cautious spender, eager to keep myself in the black all the time. He on the other hand, seems to be the exact opposite, touting the philosophy of "Money can be earned in the future - spend now and take care of it later"

It is really really frustrating. And I am well aware that he is spending not on himself, but for others. For family. For me. He calls me a stingy kill joy who cringes at spending for the family. "If you don't pamper them now, what makes you think you have many more years in the future to do so?"

However, does this justify spending money you have not yet earned? What about future expenses?

In the latest grand scheme of things:

Plans to buy a Clavinova which is twice as expensive as the "basic, inferior model", the latter which we could already hardly afford in the first place
A getaway to London with the inlaws for 3 days. Let me assure you that plane tickets and accommodation are not going to come cheap, and that is not counting expenses to be incurred whilst holidaying there.

I want to cry out, "Please don't spend a dime more than necessary. If you want, bring your parents to tour London and the like. I really don't want to go. It would be better for you to just use whatever funds you've budgeted for my portion to extend your holiday in London - at least make the tickets worthwhile."

And yet I bite my tongue and hold back as best as possible. I know you want me to go. To be part of the family. And the last thing I want to do is to ignite another heated argument again. But keeping this resentment within me continues to bug me, leaving me very very unhappy these days indeed.

You keep asking me if I have any issues which I am hiding from you. Truth be said, yes. But what good is voicing them to you only for them to be ignored and worst still, irritate you further? Open communications - humbug!

Most people (including, I suspect your parents) think we are really doing well, to be able to afford the luxuries you splash on (please don't tell me staying at a posh hotel or a weekend getaway to London are not luxuries damnit). But I know our books better. We can ill afford all these. But who am I to voice my own grouses about how your money is to be used? Not only will my whining fall on deaf ears, it is also bound to stir up a hornet's nest. What can I do except to shut up and play dumb? I do wish at times that I were really dumb and ignorant. At least my heart will not ache so.

I hate myself for not being able to accept you as you are. But this is really difficult for me. And I don't think what you are doing is right either.

Day 1 again

2008-02-17T01:28:00.002+08:00

Evidently, tracking kind of stopped at Day 2 the previous month. But, what is most important is that I am noting the start of the new month here now:

TODAY IS DAY 1 AGAIN.

So, this means that my first cycle lasted 35 days, as opposed to the normal 28 day cycle expected for the average woman. Not surprising as I am used to it coming late.

As usual, commencement was precedented by 2 days of absolute sieness and moodiness, whereby the slightest thing irritated me to bits.

Poor hubby has had to put up with this shit for so many years now, and for many more to come.

Tribute

2008-01-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

Just retired, he quit smoking (went cold turkey just like that) and offered to babysit when his eldest grandchild a.k.a. me was born.

He travelled the world to see the sights and never failed to bring back with him a sling bag for me, representing almost every country he visited. Being the tomboy I was (and still am), I didn't care much for these purchases. But distinctly, I remember my top 3 choices when I had no option but to attend family dinners in a dress - the rubbery red-indian-girl-with-feather-in-her-hair tote, the round faux pas fur bag with a golden chain and the rattan bag of a girl's face with green plaits.

During my kindy days, he would wait for my school bus to drop me off after school. To make sure I was safe, as well as to warn and wave his finger at the bus bully who used to love picking on me then.

When I was six and, substantially rounder than my peers, he was the one who told me to remember that it was inner beauty and personality which mattered more, as opposed to physical looks alone.

In my early primary school days, he used to chop up char-siew and other meat into bitesizes and mix them in my rice with gravy all over - so that I could chew with ease and finish my lunch quickly so as not to miss my school bus which would pick me up at 11:30 every afternoon.

He would help me straighten my tie or bow so that I would look smart in school.

He helped me make all the kites I needed to pass up for my art classes - starting from the basic diamond-shaped one in Standard 1 to an impressive wau bulan in Standard 3. Having assisted to make the frame and glue the rice paper, my task was reduced to decorating and painting the said kites.

He occasionally allowed me to tag along with him to run errands in town. We would take the local green or yellow bus (I used to regard this as great adventure when I was a kid) to Komtar and after ticking off the to-do list, he would take me to the Keat Seng coffeeshop on Penang Road for a durian ice-cream ice-kacang, before we hopped on the bus to return home. We would also stop at the hawker stalls opposite Shang Wu to buy laksa or wanton noodles for grandma on our walk from the bus stop back home.

I remember the annual trips to Singapore with him and grandma to visit my uncle. We would take the train which was not equipped with air conditioning back then. Trips would take an entire day with smelly yucky toilets on board. Grandma would boil eggs and buy char siew paus for the journey. But grandpa would inevitably purchase a cup of coffee and maybe some meehoon from the kitchen cabin during the stop in KL and share it with grandma and me. He took me to places of interest such as the science centre, the zoo, the bird park, sentosa island and many more. Again, ice kacang treats were aplenty during my holidays down south. Later on, when my uncle migrated to Aussie, both him and grandma brought bro and I along for a visit as well.

He used to wake up at 5am for his daily walks and marketing - mostly to Rifle Range, but sometimes trodding all the way to Jelutong on foot! He would buy brekkie for grandma and I - making sure that the menu was suitably varied every day - and he was never back later than 8am so that grandma would not be starving and/or overly worried.

He would take his daily afternoon naps and we had to tread around the house with care so as not to disturb him from his rest.

Every 1st and 15th of the Chinese lunar calander, he would faithfully head to the temple in town to offer his prayers. His prayers were so detailed to the extent that if any of his grandchildren were sitting for exams, he would communicate details of the subject, the date and the time of the paper to the gods for their blessings.

He was strict with his diet in his bid to stay healthy, particularly after his heart bypass 14 years ago.

He would make agar-agar, red bean soup, sweet potato soup and other yummy desserts for the family.

He pottered in the garden, tending to his flowers and mango/ papaya trees, despite the numerous protests from grandma to just cut everything down.

He loved to carry out DIY projects, even if it meant doing it behind grandma's back and risk incurring her wrath. This included constructing the prayer alters at home, painting the house and gates for CNY solo even though he was then already in his sixties/ seventies and putting together the doorbell which has been chiming in the house for the last 15 years. Come January every year, he strung up lights and decorated the house with homemade angpow cum new year card decorations and mobiles . And they were truly works of art indeed, which further heightened the atmosphere of the CNY festivities at home.

He religiously kept track of everyone's birth dates every single year.

He was a true gentleman, who wrote beautiful cursive and speaks the Queen's English the colonial way.

He was a staunch supporter of Dr M and regarded the man with much respect.

He took pride in corresponding via letters - I remember writing on behalf of the family to update him on news in Penang whenever he was away on holiday in Aussie. In return, he would always write back and I would then try as best as possible to translate the letter written in English, into Cantonese for my grandma's benefit.

However, he learnt about the internet in his late seventies and thereafter, kept in touch with us all via e-mail regularly. In fact, when he was still well enough, he used to check my blog to see what I have been up to.

He was strict with punctuality and woe-betide those who are late.

He was absolutely devoted to grandma and loved her to bits even after her death.

He was a well respected man, even within the extended family and many look up to him for valued advice.

He was a strong, fit and mentally alert man, till of late.

Gramps passed away at 4:25am @ 22 January 2008. You are a very special person - very much loved, fondly remembered and sorely missed. Rest in peace.

Hope

2008-01-21T02:01:00.000+08:00

Babe told me, “You have to be strong this weekend. You must be strong.”

I had decided to leave for home, despite it being merely 6 to 7 weeks since I last saw gramps. Nevermind that my tix were already booked for CNY a fortnight away. Chatting to dad and Uncle YW on MSN, I had mulled over whether I could risk delaying seeing gramps for another fortnight away. And when even mum said, “If she wants to come back, just let her.” I realised that I may not have the chance to if I didn’t this weekend.

Babe made me see that very clearly. He chided me, “I cannot believe it is a consideration at all. He is still alive. And according to Uncle YW, alert enough to complain and scold the nurses. What else are you waiting for? ”

Yet I was concerned. About it affecting my work. About it affecting finances.

Babe reassured me not to worry about money, “Money can be earned in the future. You should just go. I will make the necessary arrangements. You just go.”

I was so strung up at work. I looked absolutely nightmarish, with blood shot eyes and hair which seemed to stick out at all the wrong places. Boss thought it was attributable to stress at work as coincidentally, there was an internal deadline to meet. He kept asking me whether things were going ok. And in the end, I just confided and told him I had a family emergency and that I would need the weekend away.

Boss was really good about it. He said it was a 4-day public holiday anyway, so it was mine to spend as I wished. I could take longer if need be. But I politely said nay, I’ll be back by Tuesday. I don’t think Gramps will die this weekend. So matter-of-factly said. I don’t know why I felt the need to verbalise that. Maybe it was more to reassure myself than to inform him.

Anyway, I left via Qatar Airways back to Malaysia. The trip back was really smooth. Flight connections and all were like clockwork. Minimal amount of waiting. I tried sleeping on the plane, but was rather fitful. But I had to sleep. To synch my time with Malaysian time. I couldn’t afford jet lag. Not when I had so little time.

My family picked me up at the Penang Airport and whisked me off to Lam Wah Ee Hospital. Gramps was on the third floor. Room 363 at the Cardiac Unit.

When I saw him, I was trying so hard to fight off tears and swallow sobs. He was hooked up to tubes and was obviously struggling to breathe, even with an oxygen mask. He opened his eyes occasionally. But his eyes were grey and glassy. Unfocused. I wasn’t even sure whether he could recognize me anymore. And that upset me. I had so desperately hoped that he would be well enough to scold me for wasting money flying back at such a “whim”. I really wish he had.

I held his hand whilst he was restless and in much discomfort. He flails his arms, randomly. And kept shaking his head. We could not phantom what he was trying to say.

His eyes were shrunken and his body thin and shriveled. I was not used to the sight of strong Gramps, fit and robust, reduced to such a sight. I felt really really frightened and yet knew that I must remember to be strong. As strong as I could anyhow. Strong for him. Strong for mum.

According to Uncle YW, he may have suffered some minor stroke. We could not tell as Gramps would not keep still enough for a CT scan. And even if so, what little good would it do to know?

His mouth and teeth was a mess of blood. Uncle YW reassured us that it was due to the blood thinners given to him to prevent blood clots. The downside of which would cause his gums to bleed. It was “normal” in such circumstances.

The unresponsiveness was quite a worry. His vitals were ok. Stable. But not particularly great. The question being, was his mental capacity affected? And if so, what should be done, in the event his organs start to fail? Should he be hooked on to artificial life support? Any active resuscitation?

These were questions which are impossible to answer. For my uncles who are both doctors, I think this is particularly tough. Uncle YK was trembling, hands white as he broke the news to us for discussion.

We all knew Gramps didn’t want to live. Three days ago, when he was still alert, he had summoned mum, uncle YW and uncle YK to his bedside at his hospital at the unearthly hour of 2:30am. And asked to be given an injection to be “put to sleep”. “I am ready to go to heaven”.

My poor uncles. Doctors as they are, how could they do that. And to someone so dear!

And despite all this, I am positive that Gramps can be persuaded to live. As evident last April. He recovered miraculously. It would be audacious to ask for so much, but there was hope. If last April taught me anything, it taught me that willpower is very important. With family support, love, care and rallying, I was adamant that we could make him want to live. And keep on fighting.

But on the other hand, this time was quite a bit more serious than April – physically. As powerful as willpower maybe, there would always be physical constraints. It wasn’t always a case of mind over matter. You just cannot run software without functioning hardware.

Gramps was struggling to breathe. And it was obviously very very uncomfortable for him. Would it still be considered love to sustain him and let him continue to suffer or was it just pure selfishness?

Still, surely we cannot give up. Apparently Aunt L had consulted a “medium” who confirmed it was his time to go. And yet, this is something I cannot accept. We cannot give up. If we do, he definitely will. We cannot stop fighting so easily. Not if we loved him like we do. We really shouldn’t. We are supposed to support. Not to reaffirm the naysayers.

Ah Gong. We all love you very much. And as much as you struggle and wave us away, gesturing us to leave you alone to die. We cannot. We simply cannot. Please don’t make this any more difficult than it is.

Sometimes, it is really god’s will. But please, not yet. Your physical signs are improving. I am confident that we will pull through this together. Be patient. You will get well. Don’t worry about things. About having to be put in a home (if medical care is required). About money. About being a burden. It is not. We love you so much and do not think of it in that way at all. We just want you to continue being a part of our lives. To share our joys and achievements. To be the proud patriarch you are.

Please. Give us a chance. To shower you with love so that you can recover and be strong again.

God, please send a guardian angel to watch over Gramps. Guide him back to us. Please.

Day 2

2008-01-16T02:11:00.000+08:00

On further consideration, I thought I'd warn any unwary visitor who stumbles upon this blog and starts reading. If you're male, you're likely to find the following icky. So please, do yourself a favour and turn back to where you came from. Trust me, you'll thank me for this.

***********************************************************************************

Today is DAY 2 of 28. Well, for most people anyway.

I feel tired, bloated and unattractive. Well, I feel unattractive most of the time anyway, but I feel particularly unattractive today. I was bundled in a warm green turtleneck sweater. I used to look smart in such stuff. But today, I looked like a green apple. People without necks like moi should really refrain from attempts to don turtlenecks. Seriously.

Anyways, back to my new year's resolution. Today I learnt about:

The cycle

Day 1 - 4: Bleed, bleed, bloody bleed.
Day 5 - 11: Have sex, sex, sex.
Day 12 to 14: Ovulation (supposedly) occurs. More sex.
Day 15 to 18: Have sex - just in case ovulation is late. And for fun. Ha!
Day 19 to 28: Moan over zits, irritation mounts, mood swings from hyper happy to god damn depressing. Back to Day 1.

That is the summarised agak-agak version. Now, the real (complicated) deal. Systematic. Discipline required. No pain no gain.

Fertility Awareness Method (FAM)

FAM is a collection of practices that help a woman know which days of the month she is most likely to get pregnant. A woman can learn when ovulation is coming by observing her own body and and charting physical changes. She can then use this information to avoid or encourage pregnancy.

a) Technique 1: Calander Charting

Start by keeping a written record of your menstrual cycle for 8-12 consecutive months. (So long!!!! Shucks! How am I going to achieve my resolution this year?)
Count the first day of menstruation (the first of bleeding) as "Day 1" of your cycle.
Pick your longest and shortest cycles.
Subtract 18 from the length of your shortest cycle and note this as the first fertile day.
Subtract 11 from the length of your longest cycle and this is the last fertile day.

b) Technique 2: Cervical Mucus Monitoring

In a "typical" cycle, after 5 days of menstruation there are 3-4 "dry" days, then wetness begins with sticky, cloudy, whitish, or yellowish secretions. The wetness increases to the wettest day when mucus is quite distinctive: abundant, clear, very slippery and very stretchy (like egg whites). Ovulation occurs sometime in the 2 days before or up to 2 days after the peak day of stretchy fertile mucus. This is summarised in the chart below.

c) Basal body temperature (BBT)

Temperature is taken every morning immediately upon waking and before any activity.
Immediately before ovulation, the temperature drops briefly.
Within 12 hours of ovulation the BBT rises several tenths of a degree and remains up until the next menstrual period.
When temperature stays high for 3 days in a row, the fertile period is over and the infertile time begins.
Keep a chart of your BBT over a period of 8-12 consecutive months to learn the approximate time in your cycle when you usually ovulate.

d) Cervical Observation

During and in the first few days after menstruation, the cervix is fairly low and firm like the tip of your nose.
When the wet cervical fluid begins to show, the cervix begins to move up, become more soft, wet, and open.
During ovulation, the cervix is at its highest and most open. After ovulation, the cervix returns to the firm, low, and closed position.

Huh?? Got difference meh? Don't really know how this works.

Sounds like a lot of work leh.

*Sigh*

Day 1

2008-01-14T16:40:00.000+08:00

In order to keep up with one of my more important new year's resolution for 2008, I am obliged to record this down.

TODAY IS DAY 1.

Inevitably, I'll need to find out what happens thereafter. So, a little research and development will be necessary. But, an avid fan of the just-in-time philosophy, it is still early days.

Nevertheless, I wished I had paid more attention in classes mucho mucho years back re the topic. Oh wait, was this even covered in our syllabus? Heck, I can't remember to save my life.

Nevermind. Keep on counting, keep on counting, keep on counting........

Wrong diagnosis

2008-01-12T07:12:00.000+08:00

Worried about the lack of news, I nudged bro on msn

munsta: How is gramps!?
bro: Aiya, wrong diagnosis given yesterday lar.
munsta: No blood clot, no tumour? That is great!
bro: No blood clot, no tumour BUT it isn't water they found in his lungs. It is blood.
munsta: !!!!!!!!!! Oh no!
bro: It is caused by bacteria, probably from dust. And that is what is making it difficult for him to breath.
munsta: So can be cured?
bro: Apparently so. Gramps has just been started on a course of antibiotics.

Fingers crossed, Gramps will start getting better soon. Please God. Thank you.

Back in Pg

2008-01-11T15:06:00.001+08:00

Was cc-ed on an e-mail from Uncle YW, detailing his complicated logistics for his trip back to Penang at short notice, leaving Brissy as soon as possible. Things must be very serious with Gramps to warrant him doing such. I wish I were nearer home. I want to be there too. So very very much. For Gramps. For mum. She must be finding it very tough as well. I find it devastating to potentially lose two very much loved grandparents in less than 5 years. It must be multiple times harder for her. I wish I were home to accompany her walk through these difficult times.

"God"

2008-01-11T02:31:00.000+08:00

Aunty asked "God" about Gramps and was apparently informed that his time is up. Also was informed that we shouldn't be requesting "God" to prolong Gramps' life - the max extension given will be 3 years, but in return, the requestor will have to trade 20 years of his/ her life.

I am sorry, but what "God" talks like that - seriously? Isn't God all about hope? I don't believe God sinks to such low levels to bargain this way! Plus it would also mean that I'll probably live a very short life too...considering that everytime I've prayed, I would ask for a longer and healthier life for Gramps and previously, Grandma too.

Things are not looking too good. Apparently, besides being as poorly as he was, a blood clot and a possible tumour has been detected today. Tears streaked down my cheeks quite a few times today, as bro updated me on developments via msn. So glad that I am home alone this weekend and thus, can cry to my heart's content without raising undue alarm.

As much as I declare that we have to accept that Gramps is getting old, I really really do not think I am ready for him to leave us. Not when he hasn't seen bro getting hitched yet. Not when he hasn't even met his great grandchild!

But hold on. Isnt' this very selfish of me?? All I am preoccupied with is that I want Gramps to be around. About what I want. Me.

How about looking at it from Gramps' perspective? I know he is far from comfortable. His kidneys are not working well, and he has water in his lungs. He can't sleep nor can he talk much. From an active healthy patriach, he is now reduced to an invalid stuck for most times in bed, having difficulty sitting up for long spells even. And now with the new blood clot and tumour. Surely, it must be painful.

My heart tugs to know he is suffering so. Sometimes, when I feel a little braver, I wish he would suffer less, even if it means that he may simply have to leave us earlier. But that thought vanishes in 2 seconds as tears stream down my face again. I am such a baby. With all the years chalked up, I am still very very bad at handling deaths and impending deaths of loved ones.

I only hope he holds up till I get home for Chinese New Year to see him. All I have in my hands now is this panaromic photo of hubby, myself and Gramps taken at the Gold Coast back in 1999 - happy smiley faces with our sunglasses on - propped against the tissue box on my bedside.

I love you so much Gramps. I really do.

Relevance

2008-01-03T04:38:00.000+08:00

An outstanding athelete, consistently clocking sub-10 seconds for the 100 metre dash is chosen to represent the country at the Beijing Olympics >> does it bother you that the said athelete cannot speak English or solve basic calculus problems?

A think-out-of the box consultant who is a genious at turning flailing companies around >> does it bother you that he is a picky eater and lives on an unhealthy diet of burgers and Coke, widely skirting fruits and vegetables?

A magnanimous socialite who donates much of her personal time helping the needy>> does it bother you that she is unable to hold on to personal relationships for periods exceeding 2 months?

So why does it bother us if a proven capable leader has problems or has committed errors in his personal life? Isn't it just human to err?

Before you jump the gun, I agree that cheating is very definitely, morally (but not legally in the conventional sense) wrong - there is no two ways about it. But the point here is, who are the victims? His wife and family - yes. They have all the right to judge and wail and kick up a ruckus (to put it mildly).

But the rakyat?!?? What does the individual owe you that grants you the right to reserve judgement? Particularly so when the individual's failings have little relevance to his job ability.

In simple language, it is totally none of our business!

Closer scrutiny should be upon others out there who have erred in their job and robbed us taxpayers our hard-earned contributions and/ or our country's resources instead.

SkedyKAt

2008-01-03T02:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I do admit I am a skedyKAt when it comes to driving in a foreign land. Cruising down on the wrong side of the road. Roundabouts which turn anti-clockwise. Impatient drivers who honk you even when you are stopped at traffic lights which are red. My nightmares come true.

I'm home alone as hubby is off for a one-day business trip. So, having still got to turn up at the office tomorrow, hubby suggested,"You should just drive lar, can park at the multi-storey carpark down the block."

Er, thanks but no thanks. Throw narrow ramps and the fact that the car is rented together - I can hear the scratching of metal in my head as the car is engraved with arty-farty lines for all to see. Furthermore, I still don't have a local driving license yet (though people tell me that my current driving license will suffice, I don't trust them).

Have also heard about the traffic fines here. They range in the region of RM'000. So, do you still blame me for opting to take a taxi? Expensive it may be - i.e. RM30 for a 5 minute drive to the office, so RM60 budgeted for a day of travelling to and fro for work - but what to do? I think I am willing to fork out the astronomical sum to buy time for a little more practice on the road before I dare floor the pedal entirely on my own. And practice I need as hubby has hinted that he is scheduled to go away for longer periods for business in mid-January. Shucks.

Anyway, the taxi has been booked to pick me up at 7:45am. No arrangements have been made for the trip back from the office yet. Sigh. Maybe kiam siap me will just take my time and saunter home, if the weather permits.

Bye 2007, Hello 2008

2007-12-31T23:45:00.000+08:00

15 minutes left of 2007. Warrants a quick recap of what has happened this year:

I celebrated my first CNY in KL and cooked my first full-fledged reunion dinner
I finished serving my scholarship bond - FINALLY
I began a new blog to share updates and news with close family - which, to my own amazement, is still very much alive
I made a whole bunch of new friends in my new workplace
Gramps' health is deteriorating - very heartbreaking
Great grandma passed away at the ripe old age of 101
Bro proposed!
I got in touch with a whole load of friends whom I've not seen/ heard from since my school days - thanks to Facebook
I met-up with an online friend, face-to-face
I finally got around to applying for my ACCA membership, despite having passed the exams 3 years back!!
I moved to the middle east to join hubby

What I hope to achieve in 2008:

Learn basic arabic
Familarise self with islamic finance and the tax regime in the mid east
Work towards a promotion at work
Strike a balanced work/ life perspective - leave the office before 7pm max and not to work weekends
Eat healthier - stick to fibre and greens regime, rule out sugary drinks, cut down the burgers, fastfood and fatty pork
Lose weight - 10kg? maybe more realistic if I can even achieve 5kg!!
Use moisturiser/ body lotion for dry skin and face
Visit 2 to 3 places I've never been to before
Make a conscious effort to plan and get pregnant
Build up my close-to-nil savings

Happy New Year to self!

Fear

2007-12-16T19:47:00.001+08:00

A Pollyanna moment to self:

Being scared is good. Being scared means you have something to lose. - quote from Grey's Anatomy

My choice

2007-12-16T18:48:00.000+08:00

My 4th week in a foreign land is just beginning. And as always, homesickness hits hard when:
a) You are idle
b) You are alone
c) There is something going on at home and everyone is back reuniting and reminiscing
d) Someone you love is ill

In my case, it is all the above.

I envy the happy faces I see on Facebook. Faces familar in my secondary school days. Happy and smiling. Catching up. I wish I were there too. To join in the fun.

At the moment, I feel lonely and cast aside. It is no fault of theirs coz if I were in Penang, the invitation to hang out would definitely be extended (then ungrateful me would complain about how these invites would be eating into my family time!). But I am miles and miles away when everyone is back home.

I need to remind myself:

You are already a lucky girl. Having spent so much time back in Malaysia with family in the last 7 years upon graduation. Perhaps the scholarship bond was a blessing in disguise, it delayed the decision to uproot to a foreign land immediately after 3 years abroad studying. It gave you time to be close to family, to enjoy their warmth and love and to realise how much you love them back too.

Those happy faces you see in facebook - they have been away from family since Form 5. Away studying, away working. They hardly come home. So who are you to be envious of them when they happen to come home at the same time to meet up with friends and family!?? Something which has been at your fingertips for the last 7 years.

Remember, you being in a foreign land is your choice. You have made the choice. There can be no regrets. No lapses of remorse. Nada. The choice has been made.

It is MY CHOICE. Now live with it.

Bad news

2007-12-07T18:56:00.000+08:00

Despite the tropical heat, Gramps is feeling cold - 3 layers of clothes, one blanket and a heater on, with no fan and shut windows, and yet...he still says he feels cold. This has been going on for the last fortnight or so. His health has deteriorated a little more since the last family reunion end of Nov.

We finally found out why sometime last week. Apparently, it is heart and renal failure. Only 20% of his kidneys are functioning. No wonder, recently his legs are getting swollen.

Uncle K knew all along but chose to remain mum. Probably coz he didn't want to stress and worry all of us too. There is nothing much more which can be done. No amount of medication will help. This is nature's way of shutting down your body.

Truth be told, we don't know how much longer Gramps has. I choose to believe that with a strong will to live and if surrounded by love, family and care...the odds will definitely be better. I wish I were back home. But even if I were, there really is nothing I can do about it.

Sad, helpless - but such is the reality of life unfortunately.

Flirty backfire

2007-11-09T00:13:00.000+08:00

Conversation via Facebook:

munsta: it has been a while....how have you been?
JG: Been good. Are you going to Dubai or something? A lil bird told me...
munsta: hmmmm...now that is gonna soooo bug me....who is your lil bird?
JG: So are you there or not? Is the rumor even true?!? many small birds... just dunno how reliable.
munsta: let me know who your small birds are and i'll confirm if they are reliable....hehehehe
munsta: pretty please...the suspense is killing me!?!
JG: Well old friend, I guess if you can't confirm something as basic as whether you're relocating... it cant be / shouldnt be all that important (to me). Haha. :=) Have fun letting curiosity kill you.
munsta: hahahah oh well, I am hardy. takes more than curiosity to kill me. no worries :D

Well, obviously JG's last message struck a raw nerve! I was livid. And you know what, he is right. At this point, I don't care if he knows what/ how I am doing.

An end of a friendship, you reckon? Doesn't seem as if there was much of one in the first place. Such a waste of time.

Pissed

2007-10-17T21:57:00.001+08:00

I hate it. Why should I work for two offices when I am only getting one pay? Why should I have to work for free post my resignation date? I have given you more than ample notice...and yes, no doubt you have helped me in securing this job, but it really doesn't mean i owe you everything.

And i hate it when you tell me "you're smart, you will know what to do" Do you know how condescending that sounds? When you tell me...no problem, can surely do everything as long as you plan it properly...after all there are 4 weekends.

Yeah rite...do you realise that banks don't open on weekends. IRB, Puspakom, Immigration etc also does not work on weekends.

It irritates the hell out of me when you continue to say, "Nevermind lar, take time off to do lor". You make it sound so easy...but you're so spoilt that you forget that not everyone works your hours, being flexible and all. In fact, you're in the minority.

Well, I know what is easy - just don't do it all lar.

Simple. Let someone else do the donkey work and tie up loose ends for you. Let's wait for the fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and solve all your woes. Maybe that is why some things are just perpetually left unresolved. What you don't see you forget...so let alone if the problems are all in another country altogether.

Too right I am pissed. And rightfully so! Argh!!!!! Fuck it all!!!!!

Sienz

2007-07-31T22:56:00.000+08:00

For some reason, am not very motivated nowadays. So much for being the new broom which can sweep well, and all that jazz.

1. I loathe office politics, but it is inevitable. I don't initiate nor retaliate, but more oft than not, am still caught in the middle. Wastes a lot of time.

2. I detest fickle bosses. Or worst still, bosses who issue instructions and when you do as told, suddenly have no recollection of having ever told you to do it that way. So away you go, haughtily dismissed and feeling like a totally incompetent nincompoop.

3. Work itself is pretty challenging, so much so, I sometimes wonder what the heck I am doing - not that my boss seems to have any clear idea as well, other than frown at my lousy input (hey, even I am aware of this, ok. some suggestions to improve would be of more help) and declare quality below par.

4. I hate it when people think it is ok to stroll into office at 10:30am when they should have reported for work at 8:30am, and makes it YOUR business to cover their absence for them.

5. I deplore people who, with a wave of the hand, delegates all administrative work/ blame to you just because "I don't know how to do it". It's only my 4th month, but this is your 6th year, at least?

Work has its ups and downs. Just at a low, hopefully, for the time being only.

PS: Am slowly acclimatizing to the idea of leaving Malaysia soon. Thus, there isn't really any need to be overly flustered about the irritations at the current work place. tee hee.

PPS: Never thought I would say this, but I DO miss my ex-boss. Yeah, the one who vomits blood.

Ouch

2007-07-29T15:11:00.001+08:00

I am in physical pain. Just because YOU were careless, I had to fork out an additional RM220 to change an AirAsia flight from the 12th of August to the 21st of August. Arggh!!!!!!!! And don't say it isn't your fault - coz the e-mail you sent me about the flight details is still sitting in my inbox. And i was taking extra care to book as instructed.

Argh!!!! RM220 just down the drain like that at a click of a button. I could have flew back to Penang for the weekend and back and still have change to jingle!!!!! Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guilt

2007-07-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

My boss is sharing her worries and revenue targets with me. I am fully aware that she will be relying on me to pull my weight and deliver quite a fair bit as the rest of the team is even newer than me and definitely, much less experienced.

Despite knowing that I am 90% certain of leaving my current job, I merely nod and play along, giving away no sign of my tentative plans. No, not now. Not when there is still a slim 10% chance that I may be staying!

I sound selfish. But it may also be denial. Personally, I have to come to terms that this is something which I need to do. My CV is already in circulation. Hubby has high hopes that I'll obtain a decent paying job (I'd told him that there was no way I was settling for less to relocate) soon enough for me to perhaps take off with him this coming September or October.

Nevertheless, I still slave hard at work, absorbing as much knowledge as I can - nevermind how irrelevant this may be to me in a few months down the road.

Am unsure if the required 30-day notice I need to serve will be sufficient to cushion the shock of me stepping away from a job which I seem (and am reasonably) happy about. But hey, at least I am trying my best to help her build up a team. Have hinted to her a couple of times that she needs to start hiring more experienced staff soon, only to be told, "Well, it isn't so easy to find good experienced staff nowadays."

Oh well, if you don't try you won't know! Don't say you haven't been warned.

Always Right

2007-07-24T01:02:00.000+08:00

I hate working for bosses who think that they are the only ones who can get things right.

It is not my fault that you don't read things properly and jump to conclusions. How can you expect to get things right the first time around, when you do not bother to invest some time to read and understand the background?

The result of which, you tell me that i have totally misunderstood things. That I have wasted my time on non-essential tasks etc etc. And you flick out a piece of paper and start scribbling on it, walking me through what you think is correct.

I squint and my mind races. Isn't what you are reproducing on paper exactly the same as what I have done on powerpoint, for your ease of reference? And when I point it out to you, you tell me that this is only the background and really, i shouldn't have spent so much time on it.

And you ramble on and on. And i follow suit. Every "mistake" you point out, I justify my stand and show you the basis for conclusion. And every time without fail, you shoot me down - either it is not well phrased, or not described properly, or some other flimsy excuse.

I feel disappointed and frustrated. For some reason, you are not reviewing my work fairly and properly. Particularly when the so-called errors or lapses in formatting detected are really supposedly the incorporation of your own feedback and comments arising from the review of the last completed assignment.

This time, you want paragraph 2 on top of paragraph 1, preferring to present the advice in an e-mail instead of a powerpoint enclosure. Nevermind that in the last assignment, you had wanted paragraph 1 on top of paragraph 2 and had preferred powerpoint to e-mail. When you are fickle like that and blame me for not doing the right thing, I am so tempted to blast back, "Well - that was what you wanted the last time. So am just being proactive."

Ok, maybe i phrased that a little more diplomatically. But you always tell me, " You must have heard wrong." or "I never said that". Within the last 3 weeks, I have learnt that it is no point arguing with you when you are in this kind of obstinate mood. I just give in. After all, you are boss, and perhaps, I may not be around this office much longer. So why fight over petty matters.

I have adopted the attitude that I will ask or clarify twice and if you still insist that you are right, I will relent and just do as told - nevermind if I don't agree. What I will not do is send out things which I don't agree in my name. If you want it rephrased or redone your way - of course I can make the amendments as requested, but the final document to the client won't be coming from me. You can send it out instead. If anything turns nasty, I do not want to be blamed. I have highlighted the issues as best as I can but since you think little of the significance, well - let it be then.

You are nice and bubbly as a person, but just sometimes, can be an awful bitch to work with - particularly when you are stressed and unreasonable, refusing to understand simple logic. Sometimes, things are not as complicated as you make it out to be. Sometimes, clients really don't expect the sun and the moon either. so just KISS (Keep It Simple Stewpid).

Today, after making me dance round and round the mulberry bush, and having redrafted the advice twice, no thrice, I compared the final version with my original version. Despite having gotten everything "totally wrong" the first time round, the difference with that in the final copy is merely formatting. What went right? Well, obviously there must have been some value-add in you scribbling my work down on recycled paper, and then transcribing the same stuff into a different file. Exactly the type of service our clients are looking for?

Sienz.

Career turmoil

2007-07-18T20:38:00.000+08:00

At the request of hubby dearest, I just revamped my CV again. Sigh, having to fish it out after only 4 months - that is so, so very soon. Too soon in fact.

And as I updated the document, it is evident why I was feeling non too chuffed of having to job hop again. I had worked hard, building up what I hoped was an impressive resume. Having settled on a job which I think I wouldn't mind doing in the next couple of decades to earn a living, my career seemed lined up and definite. I just had to work on excelling at what I was doing and surely, I would be more or less fine. Maybe never ever making it to the apex, but I am ok with that. My ambition has somewhat waned the last few months as I realise that life at such great heights comes at a price and can be lonely and hostile.

To have to uproot myself to a country where my skills are not required is demotivating. The job experiences which I have diligently accumulated and the shit which I've put up with just so that I am in the position I am in now seems to be all-for-nought. I know I know there are lessons learnt which are transferable across all jobs but realistically, I will be flung a few rungs down again. And possibly doing something which I may not like as much as I do my current job.

"Its OK...you'll get a job. That you can be assured."

But it is not any job I want. And given the chance, I'd like to win the job based on my own ability and not via a recommendation from someone who hardly knows me, let alone is familar with my work performance and attitude. But I guess beggars cannot be choosers and seriously, I should be thankful.

I dread about the day when I need to return home a few years after maybe. Will I still be employable, let alone think of having a career still? I really do not know.

Sigh. At the end of the day, no one is forcing or pressuring me to make the job switch now. But I cannot deny that in my current circumstances, other priorities beckon. Happiness ranking highest and family being key. The sacrifice of a potentially successful career is a difficult decision to make. Gut wrenching painful. But reminding myself of what I really want and treasure in life, I think this move is, unfortunately, necessary.

Didn't I once proclaim that my long term ambition is to be a tai-tai? So why am I bothered and flustered with the sudden kink on my career path?

Heartbreaking

2007-05-02T21:50:00.000+08:00

After 5 days of bliss, the telephone call back home this afternoon to inform gramps that I had safely landed in KL brought me crashing back to reality. He sounded breathless, frail and gasped for air. And this despite only trying to talk to me on the phone. I was shocked. I knew about his condition but the last time I was back home about 2-3 weeks back, he seemed to have improved. Heck, he sounded ok when I called him last Tuesday to let him know I was leaving Malaysia for the long weekend.

Was on MSN with bro later this evening and he concurred that gramps' condition had deteriorated very much the past week. So much so that even my cool cucumber bro was scared. Poor boy has been home alone as my parents have left for their holidays in Europe beginning last week. He has been stressed and unsure of what to do. Frustrated even.

dunno ler, it's sometimes just so scary when you look at ah gong, and there's nothing you can do...not even when a qualified doctor doesn't want to be here

Heck, if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't know what to do either!

Tomorrow, gramps is due for another check-up. Uncle K will accompany him. Bro is thinking of taking annual leave or requesting to work from home on Friday. By virtue that he is even nursing such thoughts indicate how brittle things are at home.

I'm definitely flying back this weekend. Again, don't know what I can do (maybe cook some meals rather than bro ta-pauing stuff home after work) - perhaps just to keep gramps company. At the very least relieve bro a little after his stressful week of coping alone.

We've both decided that there is no point alerting mum at this stage. She's due to return home next Monday anyway. There is nothing much which she can do so we'll let it be.

In the meantime, fingers crossed that the doctor's check-up tomorrow is positive and that he can identify means as to how my gramps can get better.

Sigh. Its heartbreaking.

Resucsitation

2007-05-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

I have been blogging - just not on this blog. The maiden entry in my new blog was posted at the end of Feb 2007, just as I left my old job and closed another chapter of my life. Sole reason for the new blog was to keep close family members up-to-date on the happenings in my life, particularly since so many uncertainties beckon. And because the new blog is privy to close family members, I have to watch both content and language. Gone are the days when I could just spew my emotions and thoughts all over, as and when I like, without worrying about upsetting people I care. Except for, perhaps, this hidden goobledydook pigeon hole safety den of mine here which they don't know about and/ or have forgotten/ dismissed as dead.

So guess broadly categorised - the new blog shall be full of cheer, happiness and postive vibes to share, whereas this one shall remain the darker, gloomier, potentially bitchier dumpsite of rants which should not see the day of light (or at least remain unknown by family).

What to do - I am a Gemini afterall. So two contrasting sides of me are to be expected, naturally.

PMR

2006-12-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

One gets 7 straight As and celebrates in KFC.
The other gets straight Bs (almost, save for an A for English) and drowns his sorrows in KFC
KFC seems to be doing well these days.

***
Record set: KL-Penang >> 2 hours and 45 minutes
Reminder - feat not to be repeated

Cloud Nine

2006-12-27T20:51:00.000+08:00

Received a phone call this afternoon which made my day!! It's nice to know that there are people out there who remember me and are willing to offer me a job, nevermind if I don't particularly need one at the moment.

Ugliness redefined

2006-12-27T17:56:00.000+08:00

Remembering that I still owed my cousin a favour, I reluctantly braved the drizzle and popped into the touristy section of town in search of his request this afternoon. And horror of horrors....I found this!!

Ugly as man!!!!! And not cheap too! After some haggling (not for too long though as I have little patience for these things), I had only managed to drive the price down to RM12 per pair.

What in the world does he see in these....cannot help but wonder who the "lucky" recipient is? Hopefully not potential "girlfriends"....hahahahahahah

Oh forgot, he's colour blind - so maybe it looks better in black and white....

Neh..little difference in level of grotesqueness!

Arrgh!!

2006-12-26T14:48:00.000+08:00

I hate it when this happens:

SMS #1: Urgent!! Re issue XXX – please check with YYY and revert

Reply SMS: YYY confirms our understanding and the steps taken to address issue XXX are in order.

SMS #2: Who did you speak to in YYY – I want to check it out with them personally

***rolls eyes upwards***

If that were the case, please just call them directly and let me enjoy my holidays in peace.

Humble Pie

2006-12-26T11:48:00.000+08:00

Eating humble pie is when a 6-year-old is able to operate a gameboy and beat you effortlessly at any game you pick to play.

PS: I swear I was a much more nimble gameboy player when I was a young lass – not great, but respectable. Damn the signs of age.

Mission X(mas)

2006-12-26T09:40:00.000+08:00

We racked our brains and strategised, where would be able to get our hands on this particular sought-after entertainment box at 7p.m. on Christmas Day?

Mentally listing down the usual suspects in Kuching, we made a bee-line for the most likely of places (or so we thought) – i.e. the newest, hippest, most KL-like shopping mall in Kuching city centre – Tun Jugah Complex. No such luck – targeted shop was closed as the owner probably figured that Kuching’s classy elite were not in the habit of last-minute haphazard frazzled X-mas pressie-shopping.

So, across to Sarawak Plaza we trekked. Scanning floor after floor, we were very surprised that we could not locate a single shop which offered IT entertainment consoles!

Almost popped over to the Riverside Plaza but partner-in-crime veto-ed said idea as he was very sure we had not strolled across such an outlet whilst we were killing time in the mall before the movie screening we had attended the evening before.

Hmmm….a quick regroup was in order, the result of which, we unanimously agreed that the next best shot was closer to home at Saberkas. Ground floor, nope….1st floor, zilch…2nd floor, ah…a shop looked promising. Oh yes, they did stock the more technologically advanced Sony PSP but that was way above our budget and probably a little too complex/ complicated for our gift recipient. When we told the salesperson that we were actually looking for its cheaper and more obsolete cousin, I thought I fleetingly detected from the corner of my eye, neighbouring discerning browsers (young in age as they were) turn up their noses and frown in distaste at our choice of gift.

I supposed the two of us must have looked pretty desperate, disconsolate and ridden with guilt, so much so the salesperson obligingly offered, “If you want to make it for Christmas, maybe it is worth trying at either Satok or Hopoh – though am unsure whether they’re still open now”

Quick check confirmed that the hands of the clock were indicating a quarter past eight. Still ages before the witching hour but by Kuching standards, time for businesses to start winding down for the day, I guess.

Not a team to give up easily, we sprinted back to our car and F1-ed our way towards the city centre again. Our efforts were rewarded and we went home grinning ear-to-ear like a pair of Cheshire cats which had just caught a whole basketful of fat trout.

Ta-da…behold the baby we got:

More importantly, FIL was plenty pleased with his new toy.

Keeping Count

2006-12-25T16:55:00.000+08:00

Off the top of my head and excluding magazines and blog-surfing, my literature achievements for the year include:

#1: Rule of Four

#2: The Chronicles of Narnia

#3: The Shopaholic and Sister

#4: The Undomestic Goddess

#5: The Nanny

#6: The Umbrella Man

#7: Jack Welch and the 4E's of Leadership

#8: The Devil Wears Prada

#9: Everyone Worth Knowing

#10: The Economic Hitman

#11: A Quiver Full of Arrows

#12: 12 Red Herrings

#13: False Impression

#14: For One More Day

#15: Roald Dahl’s collected short stories

#16: Freaknomics

Not as bad as I feared, but could definitely be better.

New year’s resolution for 2007: To diversify my reading material further and double the count - Any worthy recommendations, anyone?

Clueless

2006-12-25T12:00:00.000+08:00

MZ called to ask for a favour, “Che-che, can you please buy me half a dozen peppery stuff – it’s black and white with cats on top”

“Huh?? What is it again?”

“There…those peppery stuff ar – it’s black and white and got cats on top”

Hmmm…ok, I figured I wasn’t going to wheedle much more information than that even if I were to ask for another 100 times after, so I just hoped things would “click” when I saw an item fitting this, erhm, specific description.

Last try, “Where did you see these – which shops?”

“Aiya…they are everywhere in Kuching! K, bye and thanx!!”

And I thought I made more sense when I was fifteen going on sixteen. Anyway, treasure hunting we will go!

X-mas Thanks

2006-12-25T07:00:00.000+08:00

Great way to start my year-end holidays – with an excruciating whopping headache which lasted for 24 hours, meaning that I spent most of Christmas eve tossing and turning in bed fitfully, trying to sleep off a hangover which, unfortunately, is not even due to excess boozing/ partying, coz I never did make it for the countdown at midnight.

Nevertheless, I am in no position to complain about this little glitch when there are so many other things to be thankful for:

FIL is up and cheerful, walking and talking – and if he could have his way, probably driving around and painting Kuching town a bright scarlet red too!!…if I had not known better, I wouldn’t have believed that this was the man who, after a triple by-pass, was struggling to breathe in the CICU barely a month ago. 5 kgs lighter, he is looking even younger and in better spirits than before.
Hubby was one of the lucky ones who managed to squeeze himself on a flight home on Sat night, despite many others stranded at the airport, who have for the last 4-5 days, patiently waited for the stand-by lists to be read, fingers crossed that hopefully the next name announced would mean a quick joyous reunification with their families in time for Christmas
Family in Penang is well and happy, and so far, floods-free unlike the poor folks in Melaka and Johor – am looking forward to the trip back home on the 29th, after this trip in Kuching
Renewal of friendships, which have shamefully been neglected in the hustle and bustle of the rat race in KL
And I woke up bright and cheery this morning, ready to enjoy the rest of my glorious day-offs ahead *grin*

Certainly, life is good!

Winter Solstice Fuchow Style

2006-12-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

On her own initiative (never knew this was ever possible), MIL postponed our family celebration of Dong Zhi till both hubby and I had arrived home. And I was introduced to the Fu-Chow rice flour balls as above. Rolled in generous amounts of freshly home-crushed roasted ground nuts and sesame seeds, these tasted lovely like the Penang Muar Chee - certainly more palatable than what I am accustomed to at home.

But honestly

2006-12-23T16:25:00.000+08:00

Maybe it is a case of not wanting to burn your bridges, but am just wondering how many of us are actually frank in disclosing the reasons as to why we quit a particular job?

My reasons:

My personality is better carved out for consultancy than the corporate environment
Now’s the opportunity to build-up my technical skills which I feel can only be done effectively in an accounting firm with vast experiences to share, myriad portfolios of clients and international networking to boot
Improved mobility in the event I need to relocate in line with my husband’s career development needs

My colleagues’ reasons:

Unable to fit into the company’s culture
Need a less demanding job with shorter hours, so that more time can be spent with the kids

The truth (which really, isn't quite that difficult to decipher):

We are tired and overloaded and yet, for the same salary and resources allocated, our job scope is always ever expanding.
There are more productive things to do than to constantly follow-up (be it via e-mail, telephone calls, face-to-face meetings) with full-blown-adults-who-have-to-be-treated-like-kiddos on submission of information/ further action.
We have had enough of being responsible for the actions of others who cannot care less and yet gets away with murder every single time
Fuzzy leadership, e.g. just to name a few, what is the logic of:
a) Liquidating dormant companies on one hand and setting-up twice the number on the other
b) Cutting down budgeted staff benefits and freezing headcount requested to cope with operational matters on one hand but approving the unbudgeted recruitment of expensive big-wigs to “head” new departments/ initiatives on the other
c) Continuing to splash lavishly on new training centres, corporate communication programmes, business entertainment and many other “cutting-edge” projects, which after numerous years, still show no foreseeable returns to the company
And, saddest of all, we are convinced that the situation above is only likely to deteriorate further as the months inch by - so tell me, why bother staying on a sinking ship??

An employee’s loyalty should lie with an entity and not an individual, and yet it is utterly naïve to deny that the personality helming the company does not play an important role in making sure that such is the case.

Another broken green bottle

2006-12-23T12:23:00.000+08:00

A fellow manager confided that she is also mulling on resigning and moving off to greener pastures. Oh no!! What have I started? Isn’t it queer how it sometimes only takes one person to throw in the towel, for the rest of the pack to follow suit in quick succession?

Could it be herd mentality? But who was I to advise another against a move which I myself had initiated?

Sure - no one employee is indispensable but when most of your work horses rebel and break free at one go, the breaking-down of the carriage is inevitable.

As much as I am sympathetic towards the rough seas ahead, I must steel my heart and remind myself that this is not my problem – nor should I feel responsible or guilty on these unfortunately timed developments.

Can only hope that the company is able to recruit others who are willing and able to fill up the vacancies quickly.

Expectations

2006-12-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

"I am very very disappointed......have you lost your senses?....you're poised for much more.....not thinking straight....throwing away a bright and promising career in this Group...I have always thought that you're capable of much more"

The words stung and very much reminded me about a similar situation more than a decade ago when I was summoned by the school counsellor for being a recalcitrant - insistent on switching to the Arts Stream, despite my grades qualifying me for enrolment in 4 Science 1. Furthermore, I was somehow also deemed responsible for "swaying" half of my Form 3/1 classmates in "boycotting" the Science stream, nevermind that each of us had made up our minds independently over the PMR break.

I remember the counsellor issuing us this final dire warning, "We'll see how long you'll last in the Arts Stream", and whether it was achieved merely out of spite or not, last the two years we did...and very well too. It was a satisfying final year in secondary school when we swept all awards for the core subjects in SPM and Additional Maths - leaving the teachers aghast at the "dismal performance" of the Science girls.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it's tough being blessed with some brains - people expect much much more. Thankfully, my husband, family and friends understand me a whole lot better and are always supportive in what I choose to do.

As I told my CFO, "I really respect you and boss for all that you do, but truth be told - I am not envious of your positions, nor do I have ambitions to be you."

"Think about it over the break and we shall chat again after the New Year"

Beyond the point of no return, I have already reminded myself that there is more to life than scaling the corporate ladder.

Relocation

2006-12-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm.....will we be relocating here in the next 6 months?!??

Winter Solstice

2006-12-21T19:55:00.000+08:00

Was surprised when Uncle N picked up the call - I'd thought I'd accidentally dialed him and not home! Then, it dawned on me that his family had made the trip back to Penang to celebrate Winter Solstice with gramps - sweet and typical of Uncle N. Now I wish I were back home as well with my cousins and family....damn.

Anyways, winter solstice has always been one of those fun chinese festivals when grandma would allow us to get our hands dirty rolling flour balls the night before. We normally rolled white, pink and green balls, which we patiently lined in circles on plates. It was quite easy to differentiate those done by grandma and those done by us kids - hers were dainty and pretty, ours were larger and when cooked, er pretty tough to swallow! hahaahhahahaha....of course when we were younger, we couldn't understand the fuss on making round small balls but come makan time...hahahaha...we were always smart enough to choose grandma's handiwork, leaving the poor adults to stomach ours!

Grandma used to cook the balls in two ways - one is sweet in syrup and served chilled, the other is savoury and boiled in soup with liver, chicken etc. To be honest, I was never much of a fan of either, but that never did stop us kids from pleading grandma to mix another lot of dough for us to make more ...ahahahahah...again poor adults.

Guess mum will be rolling the flour balls with my cousins tonight.

Simple sweet memories...unfortunately such traditions do not thrive in a metropolitan like KL..well, maybe when I have a family of my own next time, it would be a worthy practice to rekindle.

Much Ado Over Nothing

2006-12-21T19:43:00.000+08:00

Tendering my resignation was a surprisingly exhilarating and satisfying experience indeed.

Addressed to my CFO and cc-ed to my direct boss and the HR director, I hand delivered the letters to their respective offices. CFO and boss are currently on leave, but the HR director called me for a chat 5 minutes after I left the letter with her secretary.

Yes I am sure that I want to resign and nope, my mind is made up. And yet she insists on getting the CFO to come into the office tomorrow morning to talk to me.

But why?? it's not like it matters, plus, considering my last day at work will be in mid-Feb, there is little difference in him seeing me tomorrow rather than when we both get back from our leave after the New Year

I do genuinely like my CFO and boss and had hoped to let them enjoy their much deserved year-end break, blissfully unaware of this development. Unfortunately, there is this small matter of notice which I need to serve this week or else.....

Oh well, what to do?

The sky is falling down

2006-12-20T20:58:00.000+08:00

Merely 2 months old, the new assistant manager decided that the company's culture did not suit her and submitted her resignation letter today. She's leaving in 2 weeks (inclusive of the Christmas and New Year holidays) and will be off to Japan for a 3-week holiday! WoW!! Liddat also can leh!

My offer letter is out this evening so am tendering my resignation tomorrow as well.

5 green bottles sitting on the wall...2 down, 3 to go. Now, when will they break too?!?

Blogging pro

2006-12-19T20:03:00.000+08:00

At the "friendly chat" the other day round with my prospective employer, I was requested to spend 30 minutes to write an essay (minimum word count of 300) on one of 5 topics (i.e. leadership, motiviation, aspiration and two more on some not-worth-remembering biz related matters)

For a while, I blanked out and panicked at the curve ball flung in my way. One is not accustomed to essay writing after SPM!!! seriously...as the years go by, we are required to condense and get straight to the point >> concise is good. Bosses have little time to listen, let alone read!

A sweeping glance confirmed that I could probably give a respectable answer to each of the 5 topics in 3 sentences....which would guarantee certain failure in meeting the word count threshold set! Sigh....

So there I was, stranded at a loss as to which topic I should select to my advantage - when I fell back on the most mature and reliable decision-making tool in such a difficult circumstance >> yes, I eeney-meeny-miney-moed and then launched into blogger mode and rambled....on and on and on...no editing, just waffling...there were instances where I could have been so much more economical on effort, ink and paper...but nope, I was plenty generous with fillers all round

And as the allocated time drew to a close, I frantically scribbled down the conclusion and voila....mission accomplished!

300 words? No sweat!

As for quality - well I'll keep my fingers crossed

*grin*

Christmas Cheer

2006-12-18T19:47:00.000+08:00

Things are slow at work...people are going on leave...more pertinently, tomorrow should be the last day I'll see my boss for 2006 (yippee yay!!)

tsk tsk, it ultimately boils down to brilliant annual leave planning...she starts her break on wednesday and will be back on boxing day, whereas my annual leave kicks in on boxing day (christmas being a public holiday) and i won't be back till the 3rd of Jan!!!!!!!!! wooot!

Christmas is coming, christmas is coming and what better way to spread the X-mas cheer than via this ultra-cool made-in-malaysia effort whipped up by Linpeh and friends

Stumbled upon it whilst having my daily fix at 5XMom's. Reading 5xmom is so refreshing - her ramblings are informative yet zapped with enough whackiness to make your day

Btw Lilian >> My guess is that you're in the stanza after the totally wicked hokkien rap and instrumental break, singing "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose"

Fed up

2006-12-18T19:20:00.000+08:00

I snapped sometime in the last 2 weeks and have made up my mind - I've had enough and am leaving. Nevermind the bonus, gratuity, increment etc etc etc. In fact, if I could so be the heartless bitch I sometimes aspire to be, I would have just screamed "SOD IT!!!!!!!" and walked out the door, not bothering to turn back ever ever ever. Definitely, definitely the final straw.

After the storm blew over mid-last week, I popped over to ask my boss if I could take Friday off. She was in a good mood and nodded. Then, hesitantly, I asked for a personal favour - could she like be my referee?

Hehehehehe...she was shocked. So were the others whom I confided in that I'd selected her as one of my referees.

PS captured it in a nutshell:" You terror lar!!! Liddat also can?!!?!?"

Ok...in restrospect, I guess it is a little foolhardy. But, but...she is the best person who can vouch for my accomplishments the past 2 years plus she's a person whom I believe is professional, honest and frank - surely she wouldn't sink quite so low as to sabotage my interview!!!!

Thanks to cynical dude's enlightenment "Well..if it's her survival vs yours...which do you think will be paramount?" - ok, ok...I get the message and WILL NOT REPEAT SUCH FALLACY EVER

Anyway...am confident job's in the bag...just waiting to receive the offer letter before I throw in my resignation letter.

*rubs hands in glee*

2007 promises to be a very interesting year indeed!

Short Cut

2006-11-26T22:10:00.000+08:00

FIL has been discharged from the hospital but whilst waiting for the bypass scheduled on Dec4, needs to make daily trips (once in the morning, and once in the evening) for some injection which is required to thin his blood and ensure that no evil blood clots lurk in his arteries/veins

Unfortunately, gout has also mysteriously struck, rendering his right foot swollen an angry red and making limping the distance to the Cardio Therosic Ward (CTW) for his shots a very painful exercise indeed.

We've worked out a routine though - hubby shall drop me off at the porch closest to the CTW, wherein I shall dart up 4 flights of stairs to borrow a wheelchair. Leaving my identity card and a friendly wave with the nurse-on-duty, I race the wheelchair down the corridor and take the 0h-so-slow lift 2 floors down. I will then fly down the corridor towards the porch to collect my FIL and perform the above routine in reverse.

Once the injection is administered, I shuttle through the above motions again - this time depositing FIL back into the car before returning the wheelchair and reclaiming my identity card.

Yes - it is a lot of activity to just get a shot...and repeated twice a day, is exercise aplenty for normally sedentary me

However, as hubby and I shall be returning to work for the next week, we had briefed and handed over duties to my brothers-in-law who had arrived back home last Friday.

Last check with both confirmed that FIL was getting his injections as scheduled. However, was told that they made FIL walk to the CTW on his own because "it is good for him plus it is considerably a lot more convenient for us!"

Being Strong

2006-11-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

A relationship which counts is one where the presence of the other makes you feel stronger in hard times of emotional turmoil - you have always been there for me in past uncertainties and I hope that I can be the same in the next couple of weeks to come.

Stupid phone calls

2006-11-24T00:16:00.000+08:00

Phone Call 1, received at 9a.m.:

Ms Tai-Chi Mistress (TCM): Sorry to call you so early
Me: Its OK - am already at the hospital
TCM: Oh!! You mean condition is that serious eh?

***

Phone Call 2, received at 11a.m.:

TCM: Are you busy?
Me: Am currently in line to donate blood
TCM: Wah...so free to do charity
Me: Er...actually, need to replace blood pint-by-pint for FIL's operation
TCM: OIC

***

Phone Call 3, received at 1p.m.:

TCM: Does your husband have no siblings who can take over?
Me: We are the closest at short notice.
TCM: That's why you should have brought your in-laws over to KL to stay with you guys
(implicit message: so that i don't need to be saddled with your work!)

***

oooh...she really needs to brush up her PR skills to mask her insensitivities!

Marketing 101

2006-11-21T00:15:00.000+08:00

Can you believe that I was told I did not qualify for a standby seat on an earlier flight, just because the ticket I had held was purchased this afternoon? Nevermind that there are empty seats available? Nevermind that I told them it was an emergency?

Was told that they couldn’t do anything as “it is programmed as such in the system” – hello!?!??!? Are there no exceptions??? You’re not a system are you? Surely your brain is superior to that of artificial intelligence!!??!! Plus, do I look like I will for some reason be a security threat on the 6:10p.m. flight?

“Ahh…we are sorry mam, but if you had purchased your ticket yesterday, things would have been different” – Yeah, if I had purchased my ticket yesterday, it wouldn’t exactly be the emergency I am describing to you now, would it?

Doesn’t make sense as it would not cost them a thing and in reverse would actually earn them quite some goodwill, and perhaps even some extra revenue should a person turn up later desperate for a seat on the flight that I am scheduled on.

Weird public relation skills some firms have – you would have thought they would have trained staff to think on the spot rather than be bound by rigid rules and procedures. But I guess it is a case that when you pay peanuts you get monkeys.

Cracking up

2006-11-20T11:49:00.000+08:00

Just can’t concentrate at work. Furthermore, things don’t sound good on the phone…have given up and decided that sod work…family comes way before…and I think that this time around, it is important enough as compared to the stupid business plan, which most people around me don’t give a damn anyway.

I spoke to boss after lunch, who after the initial exclamation of “shit” (auto reaction I guess), was quite understanding. Handed over all BP responsibilities to ms tai-chi mistress who promptly exclaimed “Wah…so many things outstanding ar?!!?” to which I shrewdly replied, “Yeah – most things are pending the outcome of your consolidation/ computations >> so it is only appropriate that I hand over to you for you to fill up the blanks!”

Anyways, I feel like I’ve done as much as I possibly can, and staying on in KL won’t really be that useful anyway coz it’s currently at the stage where we play the waiting & test-your- nerves-of steel-game. Stressful and counter productive. But have agreed to be on 24 hour standby for questions, and have even taken with me some stuff which I can work on off-site. Didn’t boss complain that I can’t delegate? Well, time to show off my delegation skills now, I guess.

Sigh, of course I’d rather not be put in this yucky situation which conveniently gives me an excuse “to run away from office for a few days” – fingers crossed, everything will turn out alright. I really fervently hope so.

Comfort me please

2006-11-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

I don't cope with stress very well....i tend to bitch and rant, bitch and rant, bitch and rant...but granted that i will be home alone this entire week...it's just no bloody fun bitching and ranting to the four walls!! and no...unless you're married to me, I am not the kind of person who rings up everyone in her phone address book just to share the misery around

I need comfort food:
a) Ice cream - too lazy to pop down to the grocery shop to get some
b) Mashed potato - no potatoes in the house either
c) penne with baked beans and cheese - too much work...boil the pasta, open a tin, grate the cheese...argh!!
d) Celery/ mushroom soup - one step less than above option, still too much work
e) A hot steaming mug of hot chocolate ....now just maybe.

Thank god for laziness, i so don't need the additional calories just doing nothing

Antz

2006-11-19T19:34:00.000+08:00

Even the ants in my house are depressed...can't understand why so many of them commit suicide by drowning in my kettle...every single day!!!!!

Am so frazzled by it...i HATE having ants floating around in my drinking water...totally gross. and this isn't one or two mites which can be easily fished out...its like the fucking pipe piper of hamlin in Antzville

any one out there with the same problem? more importantly, anyone with a solution?

Sod everything!

2006-11-19T19:10:00.000+08:00

I am so stressed, deadlines are looming sooooooo near....and so many more things need to get done, information to be fished, figures to be cranked etc.etc.etc....and what do I do today?

I woke up and decided that I just didn't care to get my butt into office today. Moreover, i only managed to reluctantly drag my sorry ass out of bed at 10:30a.m, and even that was just because my bladder was absolutely bursting and I needed to move before i made a mess

Plopped myself in front of the idiot box...flipping channels but not really paying any attention to anything....shutting my eyes and dozing intermittently trying to ward off a headache....

4:30p.m. realisation dawned that i needed to stuff something down my throat if I did not want the now-escalating migrane and sickness in me swell into something more severe - i.e. a full-blown gastric attack. yeah yeah yeah...i would have brought it on to myelf...i know...but well, i just just just couldn't be tossed.

anyways, fear of pain and further discomfort motivated me to take those few paces to the kitchen - opened the cupboards to look for the most fuss free food i could get my hands on: nope no cereal but there was other stuff like good-ol maggi me...but i couldn't get my act together to even want to light a stove.

Ok....foraged my fridge for alternatives....and settled on 2 pieces of toast, a yoghurt and a coffee...now that wasn't so bad for a meal i guess...the yoghurt must have just bumped it up the health-o-meter *grin*

Another 2 hours of staring into space and i summon enough effort to log on to the Net.

Sigh..oh well, if i choose to be depressed on a Sunday...it is entirely within my rights. Bloody waste of time you say? well, who can be a hyper happy bunny everyday, rite? need a rest.

Desktop complaint

2006-11-18T00:08:00.000+08:00

"What funny desktop background do you have there?", retorted my boss in disbelief as I minimised my active windows to access a file shortcut saved on the desktop.

Hehehehe...what's wrong with the above backdrop? It's cute and makes me smile when I am stressed!! Anyway, am not even sitting in the open - the only people who can see my desktop are those who sit in/ stand right next to my seat! oh yeah...plus the window cleaners, of course - though am sure they wouldn't give a toss!

Anyway, it's not like there's company policy for sprucing up your own computer at work is there? well...as long as copyright laws are not breached i guess, if you insist on drilling right down to the fine print....

some folks have their kids/ families on their computer desktop, some post their mtv/bollywood/hollywood idols, some opt for breathtaking sceneries whilst there are others who like cute pets. As for me, my little cartoon suits me just fine!

Lost in space

2006-11-16T23:06:00.000+08:00

The headline cries: Malaysia's first astronaut to do what no one has ever done before

*drumroll in anticipation of ground breaking disclosure*

to play batu seremban!!??!!!

and to teh-tarik!!??!!

WTF!!??!!

One fleeting glance at the pics above will tell you that these activities heavily rely on Newton's Law.

Maybe, the bright spark who mooted these brilliant Malaysianised ideas did not realise that there is no gravity in space. [Note to boys and girls: This is exactly why it is important that you should pay more attention during your science classes in school]

Did it not occur to him why no-one ever thought of these great ideas first!??! Malaysia Boleh!

Well, he certainly is putting Malaysia on the world map...nevermind if for the wrong reason. Afterall, didn't someone say there's no such thing as bad publicity?

Poor astronaut - after so many trials and tribulations to qualify to be sent to space and finally, to be subjected to such a circus act!?!?

I just cringe in embarassment for that poor sod, I really do.

Personality Cocktail

2006-11-16T01:29:00.000+08:00

How to make a little munsta

Ingredients:
3 parts jealousy
5 parts brilliance
1 part empathy

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lustfulness

I am obviously damn bored, and sleepy, and tired, and grouchy...but I need to wait for the dumb washing machine to turn round and round, round and round, round and round...desperately need clean clothes for tommorow...ouch!

Munsta's Believe It or Not

2006-11-16T00:52:00.000+08:00

A NEEDLE CAN SAVE THE LIFE OF A STROKE PATIENT

Keep a syringe or needle in your home to do this - it's amazing and an unconventional way of recovering from stroke.

When stroke strikes, the capillaries in the brain will gradually burst. Stay calm. No matter where the victim is,do not move him/her. Because, if moved, the capillaries will burst.

Help the victim to sit up where he is to prevent him from falling over again, and then the bloodletting can begin. If you have in your home an injection syringe that would be the best, otherwise, a sewing needle or a straight pin will do.

1. Place the needle/pin over fire to sterilize it, and then use it to prick the tip of all 10 fingers.

2. There are no specific acupuncture points, just prick about a mm from the fingernail.

3. Prick till blood comes out.

4. If blood does not start to drip, then squeeze with your fingers.

5. When all 10 digits is bleeding, wait a few minutes then the victim will regain consciousness.

6. If the victim's mouth is crooked, then pull on his ears until they are red.

7. Then prick each ear lobe twice until two drops of blood comes from each ear lobe.

After a few minutes the victim should regain consciousness.Wait till the victim regains his normal state without any abnormal symptoms then take him to the hospital. If he was taken in the ambulance in a hurry to the hospital, the bumpy trip will cause all the capillaries in his brain to burst.

If we can all remember this bloodletting method and start the life-saving process immediately, in a short time, the victim will be revived and regain 100% normality.

I was plenty cynical when I read the e-mail circulated but my parents are absolutely sure it saved my dad's life with minimal damage to his body system. In the absence of a sterilised needle/ syringe, he had actually used a compass!!

Total Bullshit

2006-11-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

It sucks when we have to comply to a deadline set in stone, nevermind that what had initially been a tight space of 2-weeks allocated for us to consolidate all work has now been considerably depleted because of delays by others who:

should have finished what they were supposed to do 3 whole weeks ago
happily tell you that you're to deal with their delays otherwise you should feel free to "shoot" them
are not the least threatened by any "repercussions" you press upon them; nor swayed by any pleas to hurry up on grounds of compassion for others (i.e. us!!)
are NEVER blamed for any delays in the entire process just because they are not visibly the last guard for compiling and handing over the deliverables

It sucks when said deadline above is brought forward by one week so that some privileged individuals get to schedule a round of golf at their convenience.

It sucks when fickle-minded but powerful persons in the organisation who were entrusted to approve key items core to the entire process all the way back in September oh-so-conveniently "change" their minds 1 week from our new deadline, resulting in whatever few submissions we've painstakingly coaxed (or rather begged for in the last week) useless and requiring rework...nevermind the bridges we shall burn when relaying the "wonderful" news to the persons-in-charge!

It sucks when you are expected to perform wonders in mere minutes using limited and flawed information available >> haven't you guys heard of the simple concept of garbage in, garbage out?

It sucks when you know this happens every single year without fail and yet matters never seem to improve and on the contrary, expectations seem to sky-rocket and our emotional health deteriorates drastically during the last few months of the year...not that anyone gives a damn

And it sucks MAJOR when told simply that we cannot whinge because we are "born into this"

I so seriously don't need to put up with this fucking bullshit.

Sociable me

2006-11-14T22:49:00.000+08:00

I was roped in at the last minute to attend a subsidiary company's meeting and was marginally late as I had been entasked to make copies of some presentation slides.

Everyone was already seated when I gingerly pushed the conference room door ajar. All heads tilted towards me as I tried to tiptoe my way into the room as inconspicuously as possible.

The tax consultants were the first to break into smiles, chorusing in unison with a cheerful "Hi!". My ex-colleagues had not expected that I would be there. Neither was I aware that they were handling tax matters for my subsidiary either.

The audit managers were next to get over their surprise and one girl even grinned and waved goofily at me over the conference table. Ah....another few acquaintences I'd made in some social outings. Definitely weren't expecting each other either!

And as all these brief exchanges were going on, my Chief Financial Officer looked on with amusement whilst my General Manager's face twitched in bewilderment as to how I could possibly know more people in the room than her!!!

Home Sweet Home

2006-11-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

I grew up here!

Gates of Hell

2006-11-06T22:59:00.000+08:00

Am currently amazing-racing-on-line and am ranked "1-368"

Done 2 roadblocks and am currently waiting for the Gates of Hell to open....hurry up!

Gut feel that website will inevitably be crashing coz there are just too many teams waiting to enter at 11:34p.m....sigh.

Upside: It allowed me to keep my date with Dr. Gregory House :)

PS: It's now 12 midnight...and I still can't get into Hell!!!! My ever enthusiastic partner has since been snoring his head off since 11:00p.m. so I guess I shall call it a night and join him in La-La-Land too! Nite-nite

Life isn't fair

2006-11-05T12:25:00.000+08:00

Why is it that it is absolutely compulsory for me to tell you everything about the significant details of my life and yet, not vice versa.

* yeah...but you're in KL and there's nothing you can do about it except worry.*

But I'd still like to be in the know and not find out when it is an after-the-fact incident which you accidentally let slip when you gloat of your "amazing recovery" over the last couple of days. Or when I chance to speak to who-doesn't-know-what-I- don't-know-Gramps instead of either of you on the phone.

After all, I obviously would not be able to do anything about something I don't know, would I? *duh*

Instruction to bro: Please keep me updated about going-ons at home, regardless of the impression that mum/dad are on the phone with me 24/7 anyways.

Since when was it custom to recruit siblings as special agents!!??!

Sheesh...parents!

Chill pill

2006-11-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

This article had me nodding intermittently in full agreement.

Having worked at various companies in Selangor-KL, I have a theory that the number of working hours an employee puts in has a strong negative co-relation with the distance of his/her office from the epicentre of the Central Business Unit of KL.

My first job was in a company located right smack within a 5-minute walk from KLCC. Most employees worked diligently throughout the day in attempts to meet ludicrous deadlines set by bosses who unfortunately have no clue as to what it takes for completion of a task and instead assumes wonders can be achieved with a wave of the magic wand - tsk tsk...impressionable individuals who have probably been unwittingly disillusionised whilst watching too many re-runs of Cinderella with the little princesses at home - come on, deep within us, we all know that Disney cartoons are the evil root of rosy hallucinations of how the ugly real world ticks - you didn't think that "living happily ever after" just happens without you having to exert any energy whatsoever, did ya? (and no, yelling at the top of your lungs for a job to be be done only contributes further to noise pollution and does not count as energy exertion in this instance)

An example of how painful it can get sometimes when you report to a manager who merely "manages" but does not have the pre-requisite knowledge to even be aware of the work, time and effort sometimes required for a job, is as such:

Boss: Can you work out the Group's projected cash flows for the next 30 years?
Employee: OK - will try to revert to you by end of the week/ early next week
Boss: No can do - I need the figures urgently for my meeting with PM in an hour
Employee: But...that's impossible!
Boss: What's so difficult - it's only 30 numbers fitted on one line - just use the projections you made for Company A for the same period

Sigh....rant to be continued

Tired feet

2006-11-04T17:40:00.000+08:00

My feet are tired to say the least. I have trawled the entire 1 Utama shopping mall today and realised how few music stores there are. Furthermore, the handful I found stocked way lots more commercial pop than any other music genre, let alone "ol boring classicals". Even the selection at Tower Records was disappointing. The section reserved for classical and jazz seems to have shrunk since my last visit there - perhaps I need to check out the bigger outlet in KLCC . Sigh.

Nevertheless, like a true girl out shopping, it would have been absolutely scandalous if I had returned home empty handed. I ended up purchasing Ratu's album - in my opinion, one of the coolest acts around the region. Check it out yourself.

Teman Tapi Mesra Video - Ratu lyrics

Ratu Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

Free Layouts

Long Lost Pal

2006-11-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

Hubby splurged on a brand new CD today. His choice was delightful - he had picked up The Butterfly Lovers and The Yellow River Concertos - two of my absolute favourite works of all time.

Am particularly fond of the delicate melodious theme in the former with a romantic story to boot and the rising patriotic emotions the tinkle of ivory keys stir in the latter. The distinct Chinese themes and orchestration suits the traditional er-hu and di-zi to the T and yet, does not seem out of place when performed by their Western equivalents - truly a classic case where East meets West

Was completely astonished though when hubby confided that he had not heard these 2 works before! What?? Such a confession from a seasoned musician who'd travelled the world a couple of times with AYO was a shocker indeed. Pure blatant ignorance - poor dear, you have no idea what you're missing out on!

Immersed in the rich strains of music played by the Shanghai Conservatory Symphony Orchestra, I closed my eyes as the violin's lyrical solo spliced the air. Waves of nostalgia gently rocked me back to when I was a 12 year-old girl who put her first radio to good use by putting a cassette on every night when she climbed into bed. Amongst my favourites then were a trio of tapes of (then) current Chinese pop songs (whereabouts currently unknown), which were not only creatively arranged for the orchestra but were also beautifully interpreted by a Japanese violinist.

Hmmmm...come to think of it, the musical style of the violin soloist struck a familar chord. Could it be? Was it she? Casually flipping through the booklet in the CD casing, the reunion with my long lost pal was confirmed.

My mission this weekend will be to hunt down the CD-versions of the following:

Three Wishes of the Rose - Everlasting Chinese Love Songs
Chinese Popular Hits for Violin and Orchestra - Love is like a Mysterious Dream
Chinese Popular Hits for Violin and Orchestra - Love for a Man Who Never Comes Home

Wish me luck!

A Chicken Rice Story

2006-11-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

During my last balik-kampung trip, I had told her:

Cooking needn't be a laborious chore. For example to whip up chix rice...

Ingredients needed:
Rice
Chicken
Ginger (sliced)
Garlic cloves (with skins on)
Lemon Grass
1 star anise (bunga lawang)
3 cloves (bunga cengkih)
Fried shallots
A dollop of margerine
Sesame seed oil and salt to taste
Chopped spring onions to garnish

Method:
Dump all ingredients in rice cooker, sit back and relax!

Honestly - it is just as simple as that! Cynical she hadn't believed me then - but two days ago, she called, triumphantly trumpeting her success.

Mum: It's really easy!
Me: Glad it worked out on the first try
Mum: Yeah...rice, chicken, star anise, cloves and ginger...could not remember whether I was supposed to put cinammon in as well though
Me: Nope - no cinammon needed. By the way, how much margerine did you put in...was the rice too oily?
Mum: What margerine? -oohhh...no wonder it was a little dry
Me: Oh ok...how about the shallots?
Mum: Oh, I skipped that...too much work
Me: And the sesame seed oil, lemon grass and garlic?
Mum: Well...your dad doesn't like sesame seed oil and I had no recollection of the rest.

What chicken rice was she cooking?!?!?!

Mum: Anyway, your dad didn't complain! So it's good enough for a repeat.

P.S. Dad called today, "Any more handy recipes for Mum?"
Oh well, guess she must have done something right!

Spam sms

2006-11-02T00:25:00.000+08:00

Received:

"Dear all, kindly take note to include me in all your future social/ professional gatherings - need to extend my dating pool."

Tempted to reply:

"Dear C, kindly note that if I am expected to render services similar to that of dating agencies, similar charges shall apply."

However, since I suck in promoting causes/ products which I do not believe in - I thought it was better to let the sms slide as if I'd never ever set eyes on it.

Confession

2006-11-01T22:35:00.000+08:00

I have always taken pride in that I rank my priorities right - preferring to spend time interacting with others than sitting in front of the TV/ computer.

However, my judgement lapsed during the last Raya break. What begun as a seemingly innocuous test run of the DVD player on Dad's new flat-screen idiot box, ballooned into a serious addicition in a blink of an eye.

My defences crumbled as Moses Chan, Bowie Lam, Charmaine Sheh, Maggie Siu and Ada Choi popped up in quick succession on the silver screen. Like a junkie, I (rather unashamedly) craved for more.

Conveniently making myself cosy amongst Mum's fluffy pillows, I ploughed through episode after episode after episode. Hooked by the loaded double entendres, witty repartees, drama and clever twists and turns generously sprinkled throughout the ingenious plot, I just could not bring myself to stop.

Episode 1....just a little more....
Episode 2....maybe a little bit more....
Episode 3...will stop soon...
Episode 4....this is too good, not now, not yet....
Episode 5....aiya, forget the pretences - next episode please!

Have set a new personal record - 30 episodes in 2.5 days

Seriously, a must watch

Indecision

2006-11-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

5 months later and I am still tied to my current job. The lady is still here - but supposedly not for much longer as her postponed transfer is scheduled to be effective 1 Jan 2007 (we shall see!).

Sigh....to move or not to move...indecision still despite having 2 tempting job offers dangled in front of me:

->> pros:
- better mobility in event I need to move between countries
- will look good on my CV
- promotion prospects less likely to be hampered by non-meritocracy based considerations(or so I believe)
- job scope will be very much skewed towards a niche which I (currently still) like
- more efficient colleagues

->> cons:
- longer working hours
- potentially immersed in kiasu environment
(yeah, yeah...i know - no pain, no gain)

So....I do what i do best - procrastinate - again! After all, damned if i have to repay a single cent of my stewpid bond

Also worth mulling over are 2 interesting options suggested by well-meaning acquaintences in the last couple of days:
>> emcee-ing
>> training consultant
Huh?? I can also qualify for jobs like that meh?
Sometimes, I wonder why I can't have the same confidence others have in me - just close my eyes and do it! Must be the damn accountant in me - risk taker am not!

Of course there is that golden job which I've been applying for numerous times and yet, have been rejected again and again. According to prospective employer, he can't afford to pay me the salary I demand to keep me at home :(

Corporate manipulation II

2006-06-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

OMG....they are transferring the PMS-prone lady!!!! another additional incentive to consider staying on!!!! ....hmmmm - things are turning out a little too well for me....fishy fishy

Corporate manipulation

2006-05-27T11:36:00.000+08:00

During the week, I felt I had enough. Freedom is but 9 months away and I was scheming my exit strategy from current employer. I was tired of having to put up with a boss who was perpetually in a PMS mood. Tired of having to deal with nincoompoops who require a follow-up e-mail and phone call per day, and yet 3 months down the line...no action is taken yet. Tired of cleaning up other people's messes. Tired of having to help others, only to find out a week down the road that the assignment is now a permanent fixture on my portfolio of responsibilities. Feel sooooooo exploited.

Anyways, talks have begun. Am working out the numbers, as well as strategising timing of execution.

And what happens? Employer surprises me out of the blue on Friday...suddenly life isn't so bad anymore. Noooooo....greed vs desire.....

Hubby laughs and tells me to give it 1 week and the feel-good effect of $$ will evaporate into thin air. There will be reminders aplenty as to why I should leave.

Cataract

2006-05-08T00:25:00.000+08:00

Last week:

Mum: G'pa Wong's got cataracts in both his eyes. His left eye will be operated on next week; his right one probably six months after.
G'pa: Oh please....I can see perfectly!
(and then, to prove a point, almost trips over a low stool)

Grandpa's a tough cookie, someone who chooses to keep his feelings to himself than talk to his children. Grandma was his only confidante. Even though its been over a year now since her death, he still "communicates" with her when he's home alone in the mornings. If one did not know better, one would only see an old man reclining in his deck chair, muttering to himself. He has not lost his marbles...its just his way of coping.

Even when we were all weeping at Grandma's deathbed (mum almost hysterical), Grandpa shed not a tear. Calm and collected, his one hand lovingly stroked grandma's hair whilst his other one held her increasingly cold hand. During the funeral, he very matter-of-factly accepted all condolences and assured relatives that this was what grandma had wanted – to die before he did, so that he was able to take care of her till the end.

We worried. We worried about the emotions which lay beneath the brave façade. We worried that the pent-up grief would consume him. But he showed us that though things will never be the same, life goes on.

Love is indeed the elixir of youth. Physically, grandpa has aged quite a bit since grandma’s death. He tires a little more easily, walks shorter distances and I suspect, is a little hard of hearing. But the fire in him still burns as strong as ever. The well-meaning relative who attempts to hold his hand when he crosses the road better be prepared for a reprimand that he is no invalid who needs assistance in moving around.

The next couple of weeks will be a nightmare for mum. Defiant, there is little chance that Grandpa will be meekly taking orders to rest his eye.

A little subdued the night before the operation (during my phone call, he had involuntarily admitted to being unnerved as he was having the operation at the same hospital in which grandma had died in – bad omen apparently – till I reassured him that that was the same hospital in which my bro and I were born, so surely that must tilt the balance towards good karma!), he was all gung-ho about exercising his bragging rights after the operation, “Aiya…..now that I’ve been through an eye operation…its nothing to be afraid of…I was conscious throughout the ordeal and it was painless….maybe i should just get my right eye cataract removed tomorrow”

After the operation:

Day 1 : Mum caught grandpa sneaking to the computer to check his e-mail whilst she was pre-occupied with cooking dinner in the kitchen. His justification: Am not straining my eyes coz I have enlarged my e-mail font size to 25. Mum confiscated his wireless modem with strict instructions to bro not to set it up again, despite grandpa’s pleas. E-mails would be printed out daily and read to grandpa.

Day 2: Mum came home from work to find grandpa reading the newspapers, using a magnifying glass. She called the local newspaper man to cancel delivery for the month and told grandpa that he could keep abreast with happenings by listening to the news on radio.

Day 3: A neighbour sighted grandpa donning a cap and sunglasses, crouched in the garden tending to his flowers in the sweltering midday sun. World War III broke out when mum was informed. Grandpa insisted that his sunglasses was 100% effective in keeping the dust from his eyes.

Don’t think mum will be winning this long drawn battle coz during my phone call with grandpa just now, he let slip of his plans to take a bus to town tomorrow morning to draw his pension from the bank.

Oh God, just please watch over grandpa, ok?

Time out

2006-05-07T20:51:00.000+08:00

Has it been 2 months plus? Time has certainly whizzed by....busy at work with all weekends in March and April filled and booked in advance....a whirlwind it certainly has been!! Keeping in mind that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - I have been both working and playing hard...so hard that I am beginning to feel a little tired! Time out please!!!!! I desperately need some "me" time!!!!

Yes, yes, I know...am a little ungrateful bitch I suppose. Its always a pleasure to be surrounded by family and friends...but sometimes, just sometimes, its nice to be alone too....ok, maybe a concession can be made for the husband (hehehe)

This is the first weekend in a loooong time in which i have had the luxury to hibernate at home, with zilch social appointments lined up. Have reminded self how blissful it is to wake up and know that I can afford to laze around in bed, cuddling in hubby's arms. To curl up on the sofa, nursing a steaming cup of coffee whilst watching the Sunday morning cartoons. To eat only when I feel like eating (as ridiculous as it sounds, this is sometimes impossible when with family).

Simple (and economical) are the pleasures of life.....till I next complain how boring my life is and how I desperately need to get out of the house to do something...just anything at all!

Am back

2006-05-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

For some unphantomable reason, i have this urge to write today....so many thoughts running through my head, screaming to be blogged - nothing profound, just stuff which i can fondly recollect in future....akin to photo albums i suppose...only its documented in boring prose (hahaha, if my ramblings can even remotely be qualified as such)

alas...high are the chances that this urge will evaporate just as i have logged into Blogger....hhhheheh...perhaps this is what is termed as "laziness" ...oh well, don't we all start off with good intentions? *wink*

Fishy tale

2006-02-16T23:29:00.000+08:00

Bro: Dropping off some soup at your place
Me: OK, you've got the keys, let yourself in. Btw, check out my new pets!

***Dang, lousy photo-taking skills....n'mind, here are some better defined pics from the net***

Bro: Why did u buy such cheapo fish. Getlah a Nemo!

Me: Nemo!?!? U think I'm bloody rich?
Bro: Aiya...only RM40 per fish mar!!!
Me: Yeah...then there are the corals, salt water, posh acquarium, alkaline tester etc....
Bro: Huh...salt water?? Oh yeah hoh....

*DuH*

Me: Plus am sure their mortality rate is higher, given the level of care i provide - so it helps that my cost per casualty is now capped at RM1.20. Every time a Nemo dies, its as good as ordering a nice steamed fish for dinner!

Compliment

2006-02-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

"You're ok....I vomit less blood reviewing
your work than that of others"

It's nowhere close to the normal sugary-sweet, pleasing-to-the-ear compliments one is accustomed to, but nevertheless, noted that this must have taken effort.

More importantly, it came across as genuine.

Thank you!

Once upon a time

2006-02-13T23:39:00.000+08:00

Individual A & Individual B are scholarship holders - same sponsor, same university qualifications, same academic brilliance, same winning soft skills, same race, same religion - only difference is that Individual A is from a richer family than Individual B

Having completed their studies, both individuals were offered cushy jobs with a prestigious international consultancy firm. The world was their oyster...except that there was this teeny weeny problem called a scholarship bond, which dictated that they were to return to M'sia to serve the sponsor company for the next x number of years, else cough up $XXX,000.

As money was no worry, Individual A broke the bond and took up the offer.

Individual B, on the other hand, kept to the agreement and returned dutifully to commence employment with the sponsor company.

In the next 2 years, both individuals A and B toiled and worked hard - one in a largely academic report-writing consultancy environment, the other in a hands-on commercial environment.

One fine day, sponsor company decides to lure individual A back by offering entry at a higher designation (two ranks above Individual B) and higher pay (twice that earned by the average joe assuming the designation) - nevermind that job requirements veered towards experience in handling operational matters rather than on fantabulous, mind-blowing, orgasmic report-writing skills.

Yeah right....as if there were such a fairy tale come true. Who in the right mind would offer so much premium for an employee who:
- is pretty much still a green horn in a commercial environment
- has proven little loyalty in the past
- has had no proven track records of performance with the company to date

Well...let me assure you, THERE ARE STILL SUCH DIMWITS AROUND.

However, I would strongly advise to steer clear of entities with such idiotic demotivating HR practices - like a teacher of mine used to fondly say with her eyes rolled upwards, "No Future"!

Missed milestones

2006-02-12T08:35:00.000+08:00

In the past 2-month hiatus, I've missed:

celebrating 1-year of blogging (nevermind that there were huge time lapses in between months)

thanking my 1,000th visitor (nevermind that I probably contributed about 95% of those previous hits myself)

pimping my 100th blog entry.......

....hey wait a minute, i haven't quite gotten there yet! :)

Zipped

2006-02-11T01:06:00.000+08:00

OMG....Has Jan 2006 come and gone?

Let's see, my life has revolved around working, sleeping, relatives, working, sleeping, working, sleeping, relatives, working, sleeping...yeah...you get the idea.

Its not been great for hubby either....his Jan is summarised as:
Week 1 - Beijing
Week 2 - KL (but I was sick the entire duration he was back, and not minor-sick sick - but the 6-day-flat-out-in-bed-kind-of sick! yeah, life sucks sometimes)
Week 3 - Africa
Week 4 - managed to fly back to his hometown just in time for Chinese New Year

December- January is a BAD BAD BAD time for accountants.....reminder to self: for family planning, best to get pregnant beginning April....just in time for 2-month maternity leave at year end...heheheheh

my concept of time is pretty warped....on one hand (as mentioned above), i feel that the days have sped by like a red chilli hot Ferrari (i.e. too many deadlines, too little time) and yet on the other, I feel that time is crawling at a snail's pace (i.e. surely its been more than 2 weeks when I flew back to Kuching for CNY...It feels like ages and ages and ages ago....seriously it does! ) !!

Yeah...confused chick I am...but don't you feel the same sometimes?

Haircut

2005-12-20T00:24:00.000+08:00

Went to the hairdressers during the weekend. After a quick 10-minute wait, the stylist-in-charge plopped me in front of the mirror and proceeded to rattle off a list of recommendations - ranging from an iron press to curls (yucks...not on me!) to a perm (worst still) to highlights to treatment, etc.

But all I wanted was a simple cut to reduce the length of my tresses, which fell to the middle of my back, to a more manageable chin-length. And I told her so.

She repeated my request quite cheerfully on auto-pilot...then took a double take and mouthed carefully again "You want to cut your hair short?"

Thinking that the healthy chatter in the salon had hampered her hearing a little, I nodded and gestured with my hands the length I wanted to reduce my hair to. She looked at me as if I were a little kid who did not understand her question yet again and patiently rephrased, "You want to change your hair style to a chin-length bob?"

Glad that she had understood my request, I grinned and gave her a thumb's up.

This time, her eyes were as wide as saucers. Blinking twice in disbelief, she articulated, "That's quite a few inches...are you really sure you want to cut your hair?"

Yes woman!!!! Otherwise, why would I bother entering your shop!! - I fought to camouflage my irritability. As exasparated as I was, it was definitely not a good time to be enemies with a person who was wielding a pair of scissors just millimetres away from my head. So, I affirmed for the last time, loud and clear, "Yes, I want my hair to be about chin length".

She shrugged and gave me a look which read "Wierdo - death wish granted" and went about doing what I wanted done.

What's the big deal with long hair anyway?? Yeah, granted that it takes time to grow, I've never actually felt too much of an attachment to mine. I suppose, most of my life, I have been used to short hair styles.

I have only kept it this long now because:

I have been too lazy to get it cut in the past, er...,11 months
The first and last hair straightening job I got conned to do in early January 2005 cost me a bomb...and be darn I was gonna chop all that expensively treated hair off so soon
I didn't fancy wearing some fake hair/ wig for my wedding - I mean what if it fell off in the middle of things?

But at the moment, I feel like keeping it short again. It's cooler, hair dries faster after late night showers, less hair dropping around the house (i.e. translates to less need to vacuum quite so often)...hehhehehehe...nice. Bonus point being I think I look a little younger too with short hair - not a bad thing at all!!!

Woke up for work this morning and was immediately reminded of the main woe for short hair which I have not been plagued by for the past year: Hair sticking out when/where it shouldn't!

Oh well...you can't win all the time!

Christmas memories I

2005-12-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

It all started with my housemate who was a medical student attached to the Southampton General Hospital for a training stint. One evening, whilst we were nursing steaming mugs of tea, she had proposed that we bring some yuletide cheer by carolling in the children's cancer ward. We spread the word amongst friends, roping in those who were interested in participating in this little venture for a laugh, and ended up with a mixed bag of about 10 - 15 people.

We only had two evenings of practice and backed by a guitar, I can honestly vouch we weren't exactly voices of angels! In fact, we had actually thought twice about buying and distributing Christmas candy to the kids in fear those sweeties would be flung back at us in an attempt to shut us up! But risk it we did....and luckily, things turned out alright. The children were forgiving (bless them!) and gamely beamed, cheered and sang along with us. It was a fun afternoon for everyone and such a runaway success we were that we were requested to carol round all the wards the following years after!

In fact, in my final year at university, we even received an invitation to christmas carol in a nearby prison! Odd request which was mulled over thoroughly...but we reasoned out why not? Safety was assured and the prisoners were human beings too...and yes, it was Christmas after all. Plus, most of us were curious to see what the inside of a high security prison was like, of course, with the option of leaving at free will later...hahahahaha

The visit was certainly no laughing matter. The building was imposing, security was tight. We walked in single file, through a door with steel bars, which opened and clanged shut ever so quickly, cutting an individual off from the rest of the line to be body searched by the prison warden on duty. Once you were cleared, another door with steel bars opened and you were then officially in prison grounds.

The prisoners who attended the Christmas event we carolled at were supposedly selected for having been on good behaviour for a period of time, and hence were unlikely to be a social threat. However, as some were apparently serving time for heinous crimes committed, they were still not allowed direct contact with any of us. Nevertheless, it was still pretty unnerving - its rather difficult to carol cheerfully whilst observing the mixed reactions of the inmates in attendance...most were normal, but there were some creepy ones who glared on with nary a smile but instead had stony piercing eyes boring holes right through you. On the other extreme, there were those who also stared and stared but were grinning so widely (or was bordering on leering? maybe it was just psychological) that made some of us girls just shift around uncomfortably

To be frank, I was glad when the carolling session finished. An unorthodox Christmas experience it was, and admittedly, paranoia and prejudice aside...I am certainly in no hurry to return!

Christmas memories

2005-12-18T19:52:00.000+08:00

Growing up in a Chinese home which ensures that incense is offered to the deity and ancestral tablets precisely at 7a.m. and 5p.m. daily (unless we weren't home), it is of little surprise that I had hardly any worthy memories of Christmas as a kid. Of course, even back then, Christmas was already commercialised - think Christmas carols blaring in Sungai Wang and unbelievably soft Metrojaya teddy bears priced so astronomically that any sneaky cuddles would warrant stern admonishment from mum, lest we had to purchase the bear if I soiled it!

I went overseas with the preconceived notion that Christmas for a non-Christian student was probably pretty much the same non-event, save for the colder weather, and if lucky, snow. I was wrong - I left England three years later with much much more.

Flowers for the lady

2005-12-17T08:54:00.000+08:00

Most women love to receive presents....yeah rite, and like men don't!

The lass above made the front pages of a leading national newspaper yesterday...not by saving the world, not by having that large 3-D heart-shaped flower thingy explode in her pretty face because it was rigged with explosives by some terrorist cell, but by being the "lucky" recipient of an "unforgettable birthday gift" from her "friendly and caring" suitor. In her own words, so romantic - it's too good to be true!

(**rolls eyes upwards** ...yeah, a little sad that journalism is so commercialised that a national daily read by millions resorts to such gimmicks, giving this matter as much, if not more, prominence than groundbreaking news around the world!)

It is undeniably...

amazing to see huge blushing roses blooming in the garden....

breathtaking when a sea of yellow daffodils beckons you to streak across an open field....

delightful when tiny white daisies dot the greens indicating the onset of spring....

cheerful when tall sunflowers nod sleepily at you on a lazy sweltering afternoon....

refreshing when morning glories peek open in glistening dew....

graceful when dainty lady slipper orchids dance in the breeze....

The point being flowers are most pretty when they are alive!

What good is 999 stalks of cut roses in a contraption like the above?!? I'd worry about where to store it! And when the petals wither, I suppose one can set up a stall at the nearby craft market, whiling away the weekend selling scented rose potpurri!

And the gift above costs a whopping RM3,500 too!!! Oh gosh...there are soooooo many better ways to spend that amount of cash!!!! Charity, holidays, oh just something useful for goodness sake!

This isnt' a case of sour grapes...it's just common sense, innit?

Shopping frenzy

2005-12-16T08:07:00.000+08:00

Cynical me never really believed in freebies....there is no such thing as a free lunch....but with the active buzz round AirAsia's, latest 4th anniversary promotion (my, my...has it been around for 4 years already??)....and having nothing to do one evening, i somehow ended up at its website - tempting advert above staring straight into my face...so why not click and check out if the above were really true? with nothing to lose and time to kill, i clicked...

30 minutes later, I was RM1,000 poorer, attributable to airport tax incurred as a result of purchasing:

2 KL-Kuching return tickets for hubby and I in April 06
1 KL-Kuching single ticket for my father-in-law in April 06
2 KL-Bangkok return tickets for hubby and I in August 06 (in fact, this was for Merdeka weekend - a public holiday...woot!!)
2 KL-Macau return tickets for mum and dad in September 06 (apt retirement gift, I suppose)
3 KL-Kota Kinabalu return tickets for mum, dad and grandpa in October 06

Bargain right!??!!?!!

Was so hyped up the entire night and when I told mum and grandpa about the holiday plans made on their behalf for Sept - Oct 2006, they were so excited that they started ringing the KK hotels that very night to check on availability!! hahahahahahah

Anyways, its an early Christmas this year and a great headstart for 2006

And for the incumbent, to choose to announce its "inevitable" hike on ticket prices , just one week after the underdog has put on offer so many free seats...hahahaha...truly a screaming marketing/ public relations fiasco if there ever was one. Desperate times calls for desperate measures, I suppose

KISS

2005-12-08T00:20:00.000+08:00

In view of the "helplessness" of the condo management and security with respect to the recent spate of break-ins, some proactive neighbours are taking things into hand by banding together to form a neighbourhood watch.

Whilst I applaud them for their community spirit and volunteerism, I can't help but opine that surely there must be a more effective way than this?

Why should we risk our own safety to patrol the corridors at ungodly hours when we are footing monthly maintenance fees which covers security expenses? Will it not be more effective to "manage and monitor" rather than to "personally execute" ...after all the security guards are trained (I hope) to respond effectively should a situation turn nasty.

Plus, it should be noted that the break-ins all occured in the afternoons/ evenings...when most of us are away at work.....so despite that trend, is it worth patrolling when the culprits daren't or have no plans to strike?

Perhaps, by partaking in the watch, some feel better at having exerted some kind of effort in safeguarding their homes.

To me, I feel it is more important that everyone around chips in on simple things like:
a) being responsible for the security of your own home - upgrade your locks, install cctvs if you feel the need to
b) get to know your neighbours
c) be alert and cautious always
d) report suspicious individuals/events to security pronto

Insignificant measures of much lesser glory as opposed to a grand-scale "neighbourhood watch" - but nevertheless, I still believe, would be more effective. The KISS concept comes to mind.

I, for one, have no intention of taking up a second job at zilch pay to walk the quiet hallways of my condo in the wee hours of the night.

Sitting duck

2005-12-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

As it is work is such a pain....now this!

There has been a spate of thefts in the condo where I'm staying in. let's see...a total of 10-15 cases in the last month!....the 7 break-in's last saturday evening must have been some kind of record by any standards

Modus operandi seems to be as follows:

Call house to see if anyone is around
If no one answers call, survey type of grille and lock of the condo
If there is no clamp, cut off "ears" to iron grille which holds the lock
If there is a clamp, break it
If there is too much noise breaking the clamp, pick the lock
Then break lock on main door and proceed to take anything of fancy

Damn these people...lowly scum....

And how not to be worried....my in-laws (who are on vacation in KL at the moment) have reported UFO phone calls every morning and afternoon in the past 2 weeks....

doesn't prove much...but definitely raises suspicion that my unit is being observed....damn, damn, damn

Sorting Hat

2005-12-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

Am devastated...has been decided that i am merely a:

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Only consolation is it seems to have been a close call

Indepth score:

Hufflepuff - 14

Ravenclaw - 13

Gryffindor - 12

Slytherin - 6

PS: pray may i ask what "harkworking" is....hehehehehehe

Define "rich"

2005-11-29T23:26:00.000+08:00

Conversation over lunch today:

Colleague: At the rate we're going, our accounts clerks are earning far more than us
Me: Huh?!???
Colleague: Try calculating pay per hour
Me: Aaaah.....I concur

Sad but true....and that's only going on monetary grounds....nevermind yet the qualitative aspects such as opportunity costs foregone (i.e. time with family and friends) and health detriments (i.e. stress, lack of sleep)...

Is this all worth it? Hmmmmm......food for thought

Drowning

2005-11-27T23:49:00.000+08:00

The last week had been hell and back. The department is really busy with the business plan, the business continuity plan, the introduction of the new Financial Reporting Standards, the Board of Director papers and circulars to be submitted by month end....all on top of the routine work load we already have......argh!!!!! have been soooooo drowning in work................

Thank god for breaks like this and this ....the former is the one thing I surf for an interesting amusing read to reward (ahaks!) myself at intervals...whilst the latter was a wicked present for the weekend from hubby to destress...will probably blog about it later.

Rejuvenated, I'm ready to brave the coming week...er, I think!

Chrissy shopping

2005-11-19T14:56:00.000+08:00

I've just done some christmas shopping!! ehehhe...a little early perhaps, but I just saw the right thing today which I know the gals would absolutely love....and they're practical too for the cold wintry months in UK/Germany....

Cool eh? I wish I could have a pair too...but it'll be nuts wearing them in hot humid weather....and its stupid to buy them just so I could look at them every once in a while...as cute and funky as they are

tee hee....er...now where have i placed those snail mail addresses.....

Procrastination II

2005-11-17T23:20:00.000+08:00

Received a call from the queen herself - Good News!!! She will start looking into my case next week....

sigh....I suppose this is slightly better than being totally ignored.

Procrastination

2005-11-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

I procrastinate...but hell, I've met my match today. The queen of procrastination works in a government department from which, I require confirmation/finalisation.

The last piece of information I had submitted to her was sometime end of July 2005. Since then, have followed-up on status almost 2 weeks once.

Lets see the excuse of the month thrown my way:

August 2005: Hold on, I have a lot of other cases in my hands

September 2005: Wait, am busy preparing for the Malaysian Budget 2006 scheduled at month end

October 2005: Please call back after Raya (Note, there seems to be a lack of effort in even coming up with an acceptable excuse)

November 2005: ***still on Raya leave to date***

and my prediction for the next 3 months to come:

December 2005: Its Christmas and the New Year soon

January 2006: Wait...there's also Hari Raya Qurban, Chinese New Year and Awal Muharram....oh and did we forget Thaipusam?

February 2006: Federal Territory Day...by the way, February is a short month....

Oh man....status quo for 7 whole months?!?!? And you tell me she draws a monthly salary?!? Sigh...maybe I should apply for a job where she works too...yeah rite, doubt my conscience would let me lead the happy carefree life the queen of procrastination currently relishes in.

Define "Spouse"

2005-11-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

My company is holding its annual dinner next week. The RSVP list has been circulated round the department and thoughtfully, spouses are invited too.

I was surprised to learn that a lot of the young clerks in the department were married, as evidenced by the numerous ticks in the column for spouse on the RSVP list...I never knew...had always thought they were happily single and available....

...till, I discovered from a fleeting comment that the definition of "spouse" was stretched beyond belief.

Not only was "spouse" construed as that defined by the Merriam-Webster Online dictionary :

Main Entry: spouse
Pronunciation: 'spaus also 'spauz
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French espous (masculine) & espouse (feminine), from Latin sponsus betrothed man, groom & sponsa betrothed woman, bride, both from sponsus, past participle of spondEre to promise, betroth; akin to Greek spendein to pour a libation, Hittite sipant-: married person : HUSBAND, WIFE
- spou·sal /'spau-z&l, -s&l/ adjective

...apparently it is also interpreted to include brothers/ sisters/ mothers/ fathers/ friends/ ex-colleagues & their husbands!!!!

Pure exploitation...but apparently this practice has been rampant in the past few years...not only at clerk level (where, I suppose, it could be entirely possible that the term "spouse" was merely misunderstood and never corrected) but at manager level too!!!!

Gosh....this is daylight robbery....where is the conscience? How can anyone stoop so low and sleep restfully at night??

The company treats you and your spouse to dinner in a 5-star hotel...and you want to bring your whole kampung with you too? ...Raised eyebrows? How you ask? - well, I actually heard some really thick-skinned individuals openly soliciting/ cajoling others for "unutilised" dinner seats allocated to "spouses" - the request was whether they could please bring in stranger A/B/C as their "spouse"...and if you are shocked at that, your jaws will drop when you hear some dimwits actually giving their consent too!!

Recognise this as a privilege generously offered by the company...not a right! If you do not have a spouse, you just do not have a spouse! period!

Dear, dear, dear...re-education of the term "spouse" is in order.

I used to laugh at my previous work-place, whereby spouses were also invited to annual dinners but tickets were only collectible upon presentation of a marriage certificate - a little extreme perhaps but after what i've seen and heard today...i don't blame my ex-company.

Maybe someone should suggest this practice be adopted in next year's RSVP list.

Monday blues

2005-11-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

My car is sick....treating it is gonna set me back by RM2,600 ....and it'll take one entire week, at least, for the major overhaul to be completed!!!

*****

I was sick this morning - feeling floaty and nauseous...I almost blacked out in the crowded lrt. Mustering all my might, managed to clumsily exit at Abdullah Hukum and stagger to the nearest concrete seat, where I put my head between my legs and took large gulps of breath.

Must have been a sight, but apparently, it did not bother the many lrt commuters around for they had more important things to do, such as checking their watches and looking out for the next train to work.

My entire body was cold and clammy and I was positively drenched in cold sweat...several lrt trains came and went...i was seated for a good 20 minutes before things stopped swimming. Steadied myself and still managed to make it to work on the dot.

The remedy for my sudden unexplained illness was a lot cheaper than that for my car....tonnes of sugar and milo at my company's expense! :)

*****
Sigh, lousy start to the week can only mean that things will get better hereon!

GOOOAL!!

2005-11-13T01:31:00.000+08:00

Argentina vs England - though a mere friendly, it has been an entertaining 1st half. In the past 45 minutes, I've learnt/been reminded:

1. David Beckham still delivers the most consistent and finest crosses, ever

2. Tevez is fast.....
3. But so's Rooney
4. Paul Robinson's a pretty impressive keeper; and

5. To the irritation of the boys, Owen's still as cute! hahaaha

Half time: Argentina 1 - England 1

Go England Go!!!

*****

Thanks to a Steve G-Owen combo, and another moment in which Owen decided to be more than a pretty face on the pitch.....

Final whistle: Argentina 2 - England 3

Good game twas!

Never say never

2005-11-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

OMG....received an e-mail....VK's getting married to her long time sweetheart!!!! :)

This is the same german girl who told me she would NEVER EVER get married as she did not believe marriages were meant to last!?! ...my personal opinion: sentiments of fear.

Am glad she has the faith to take the leap...and about time too, after 12 years plus with the same bloke!

Am so happy, am so happy....wish I could give her a bear hug in person right now!!!!!

Well...will just have to settle for a virtual one via e-mail!!! :)

Logic of time costs

2005-11-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

My boss, who is rungs up above the corporate ladder, is super brilliant and damn sharp with details. What takes her one day to complete, requires at least two days of hard work for me...and if am lucky, it would be "just passable" by her standards.

That's part of the logic behind how the audit/consultancy firms arrive at the time costs for their different levels of staff, I suppose.

...now if only my boss will understand that logic too and cut me some slack sometimes.......

Spring cleaning

2005-11-08T20:13:00.000+08:00

Having constantly been nagged by mum and bro (he needs additional cupboard space) the last year, have finally FINALLY turned my wardrobe in Penang inside out.

In it i found:

1. T-shirts, shorts and jeans, mainly stuff which I wore in the later secondary school years...still in tip-top wearable condition....er, if only I can still fit into those jeans!!! Man...the quality of clothes back then, though bought for a song comparatively, were far more superior than the made-in-china clones nowadays. And heheheh....really, I used to be quite slim....hahahahah....now that I've gained lots and lots of weight (depressing, though it would be better if I'd actually DO something about it...hahaha), I actually am impressed at my waist size those years ago....
well...the t-shirts were retained and my cousins happily snapped up the rest of the stuff which I can no longer wear

2. My sewing projects from Standards 2-4! Yup....my crooked cross stitches/ blanket stitches/ herring bone stitches on the familar gingham cloths....eheheheh....damn ugly stuff, but am still keeping it for memories sake

3. A box of the stuff I shipped back from England:
- cheery photos of loved ones I brought to England which I blue-tacked all over my bedroom wall to keep me company whenever homesickness struck (admittedly, I was so busy living life there that I really only succumbed to homesickness once a year, when Chinese New Year came around and I had to make the obligatory phone call to family, but with a "fake" cheery voice to cover the tight knot in the back of my throat);
- cards, letters and notes received - the good old days of snail mail and when people did make the effort;
- the cheapo speakers I bought from the East Anglia market for 2 pounds but which served me well throughout my 3 years in Southampton, connected to my walkman whenever I was in my room;
- a candle holder with the Spanish sky line (I think) received from May and Ray;
- a parachuting penguin mobile
...nothing I could bring myself to give-away or throw

4. A diary I attempted to keep when I was in Form 1....ar....embarassing few entries...all about that one and only private topic....argh...closed my eyes and chucked it away.... :)

5. My boxful of trinkets, mostly gifts from friends....not that I wear them, but again...so many wonderful memories therein

6. My numerous school badges accumulated through the years (monitorship/ prefectship/ the Young Enterprise programme/ the school newsletter etc) and my batik-printed prefect's tie

7. A really old watch my grandma gave me which I wore from Standards 3-6...though old, I used to consider it cool coz it was a metal bracelet watch, rather than a normal one with leather/plastic straps....during those days, Swatch/ Esprit styles were out of reach (actually was not even aware of brands) ...well, watch is no longer working, and there are quite a few yellow cracks (?) on the face of the watch....but who knows....it may just pass off as a valuable antique a few more years away! yeah rite!

8. Handkerchiefs!!!! These are really old school...stopped using them ever since we could afford tissue! hahahahah

9. A really cool trinket box from India - gift from my uncle malc....it doesn't open up conventionally....i remember him telling me specifically how to, but it took me a good half an hour to re-figure out how to unlock the carved wooden box.

So in the end....apart from the clothes my cousins inherited...I've spent an entire afternoon re-arranging my cupboard contents....a true hoarder I am *sigh*

Butterfly

2005-11-07T20:17:00.000+08:00

My cousin is a budding beauty...unlike me, she's slim, fair and definitely Japanese looking. A little young perhaps, but hey...it's been 15 years since I first baby sat her and had her screaming herself blue...so much so I almost needed to belt over to the neighbours' for help (the adults were out and those were the times when we could not afford, nor see the need to have handphones)

She's quiet and sensible, but is quite chatty once she warms up....bitching with her about my alma mater (where she's schooling now) can be quite entertaining.

The last week, have noticed that she's been constantly sms-ing....during chor tai ti sessions (my bro's initiative to "educate" the kiddos - youngest being 10 years old - as well as to avoid us older ones (i.e. bro, hubby and I) being stuck playing with matchbox cars only), during meals...heck if she could bring her handphone with her into the shower...she would too!

So....something was up...and I gently prodded - boyfriend? ;)

"No, Cheh....just gossiping with my best friend from school"

Ok....will seek another avenue....her little brother - 2 years her junior but ever so willing to volunteer information on the romantic lives of his sister and himself (to be taken with spoonfuls of salt, sometimes - particularly stories relating to the latter)

Apparently there is an interested party...and as per most teenage romances in school....it's gotta spring from camp, then tuition, then a fervent crush, relentless pursuit...and according to the "reliable" source...the guy can bloody keep banging his head against the wall coz his sister was just not interested.

Hmmm...am not so sure...and so what does this love-struck romeo look like? ....was duly directed to his friendster page...hahahahaha...he looks er...young!!!!

Anyways...., I figured with the advent of technology...what are the chances of this guy having a blog?? So in my own private time, away from the prying eyes of the younger ones, i googled....and I struck gold!

Lets see, from the few entries I read:
- he's 16 going on 17, from a neighbouring school
- he's into computers
- self-confessed banana who loves chinese songs nevertheless
- his first date with cousin - obviously head over heels at the moment

Sweet really...from a stranger's point of view...but when it concerns your little cousin sister....i cannot help but feel a little protective!?!? hmmm....yikes...i sound soooOOOoo old!!!!

yeah yeah...i've been there too....and I remember what it used to be like...and at that point in time, I admit I did scoff "One's never too young to be involved in a relationship as such - as long as one was mature enough to time manage and handle the emotions...yaddi da di da...."

Hahahha....but now, having been through the ups and downs of relationships...things can get overwhelming, even when you're an adult, let alone a teenager!! Am beginning to comprehend the horrors running through my parents' heads when bro and I were in Forms 4 and 5....although they allege ignorance... i am certain that they knew more than they let on...just like me now.

Like a butterfly emerging from her cocoon, my little cousin is spreading her wings to fly....come joy or pain, I'll be keeping a quiet eye on that blog...just in case.